On the Flipside
by KholdstareV
Summary: Ever wonder what's beyond the borders of the Great Sea? Link sure does. Care to join him on his expedition? Suit yourself!


**On the Flipside**

**By KholdstareV**

Link had been nearly two months since Link finished his grand adventure and saved the world. The Triforce had once again ascended to the Heavens and the Master Sword was where it belonged - lodged in Ganondorf's skull, beneath the waves in the sunken land of old Hyrule. Happies! While he and Tetra were destined to recreate Hyrule on the surface of the Great Sea, they were both still a bit winded from their adventure, so they decided to put that off for a short while and relax a bit before getting started with the revival of the kingdom.

As such, Link was enjoying a solo cruise along the Great Sea. He was headed for the southern edge of the map to see what was beyond the borders of the sea. Back when the King of Red Lions was still alive, he always used to claim that it was too dangerous to go beyond the ocean's borders, and would promptly turn them around. Well, now that the King of Red Lions was dead, there was no one to stop Link from seeing for himself! After all, how dangerous could it be? He'd been deemed a true hero by the Master Sword and the Triforce, and had even defeated Ganondorf, the King of Evil. If there was anything dangerous out there, it'd be no match for Link!

And so, Link continued his voyage southbound. He was just now passing the island of Forest Haven, which meant he was getting close. However, just when he began to grow excited, he happened to notice the postbox on the island's shore was wiggling. Looks like he'd gotten some mail! While Link was dying to see what was past the borders of the Great Sea, he decided he oughtta check his mail. It would only take a minute, and he'd be right back on his way afterwards.

Nodding to himself, Link turned towards Forest Haven and docked his boat. He then hopped out and ran straight for the mailbox. He wanted to get through his mail quick so he could be on his way. Reaching inside, he pulled out the mailbox's contents - four letters sealed in envelopes. Not too much. He quickly ripped open the first one, yanked out the letter, and read:

--

_Dear Link, _

_So, your Private Oasis at 8 pm tonight? Alright! It's real sweet of you to realize how busy I've been lately, and for making time for me in your no-doubt busy schedule, too. Let's make it a night to remember, OK? See ya tonight! _

_Tetra_

_--_

Ohh, was Tetra inviting him to a night of fun in Link's Private Oasis? Nice! Looks like Link would have to put off the expedition to the lands beyond the Great Sea for tomorrow. It'd been a little while since the two had seen each other. This was gonna be great! However, from the sound of Tetra's letter, it almost sound like SHE was the one accepting the invitation. Crazy girl, always so mysterious. That's what Link loved about her! Anyway, Link readily ripped open the second envelope and read the letter within...

--

_Dear Link,_

_OK... Your Private Oasis at 8 pm tonight... Can't wait to see you again! 3_

_Medli_

_--_

Hmm... Now Medli was inviting him to meet at his Private Oasis at 8 pm, too? What a weird coincidence! In fact, it was almost TOO weird... Were she an Tetra planning something...? Naw, impossible. The two had never really met, had they? Well, maybe for about two minutes after Ganondorf had been defeated, but no more than that, he knew. Something told Link that these two were each expecting to be alone with him. But hey, what the heck did he know? Just another reason to postpone his voyage! Onto the third letter, Link quickly shredded the envelope open and read it:

--

_Young One,_

_You remember when I said you were just my type? Silly child, I was just kidding around with you! But... you ARE cute, and you did save the world, so I'm willing to give you a chance. 8 pm tonight at your Private Oasis... Yes, that's the place. See you then and there, Young One!_

_The Queen Fairy_

_--_

Holy Mother of Jeebus, ANOTHER chick inviting him to meet at his Private Oasis at 8 pm that night? This was just too odd. Odd, indeed, yet surprisingly arrousing! ...However, as Link read the letter over once more, he once again got the strange feeling that the Queen Fairy was the one accepting the invitation, not him. But, that made no sense... nor did it really matter! Anyhoo, fourth and final letter. Link tore it open and hastily read the note within:

--

_I'll be there! XOXOXOXOX!_

_Tingle_

_--_

...What the hell? What was Tingle writing to him for? And why did he give Link a whole bunch of hugs and kisses o0? Link had the strangest feeling that he knew what Tingle meant: 8 pm that night at Link's Private Oasis...

Well damn, there was no way Link was gonna explore the unknown territory beyond the sea chart that day. Not with a bash this big happening at his Private Oasis that night! But wait... Something seriously wasn't right... Could these four really be planning something? Or did they all expect to have a solo night with Link? While it seemed logical that they were planning a party or something like that, wouldn't they have mentioned that in their letters? As far as he knew, none of the four had ever really met one another for more than a couple minutes. In fact, from the sound of things, they each seemed to want some lovin' and romancin' more than anything else. But, all at the same place at the same time? Talk about a freaky coincidence! If they all really did want individual dates with him, there was bound to be more than a little jealousy if they all arrived at the Private Oasis at the same time...

Well, no matter the outcome, Link was just gonna have to be smart about this. He'd be there at his Private Oasis to wait for the 8 pm arrival of the first... lover . He would ask them about the party. Hopefully, they would know what he was talking about. If they didn't, well... he was in trouble o0.

Taking in a deep breath, Link headed back to the King of Red Lions, used the Wind Waker to make the wind blow south, and set sail for his Private Oasis. It was about 7 pm then, so he had some time to prepare for anything... unfortunate that might happen. He hoped and prayed this was going to just be a fun and easy night...

Link waited on the shore of his Private Oasis and kept an eye out for signs of any one of his four, err... friends. It was only a few minutes until 8 pm, so they should be arriving soon. The odd thing was that Link wasn't sure whether to feel excited or nervous. That mystery would be solved when the first guest arrived...

Peering over the dark horizon, Link managed to make out the shape of an approaching pirate ship. So, the first guest to arrive was gonna be Tetra herself! Link watched in anticipation as the boat sailed the remaining distance and docked by the shore. Tetra quickly dismounted the ship and walked up to him. She smiled, and he smiled back.

"Hey Link! It's been a long time, huh?"

Link nodded in agreement. It really had been a long time.

"So, this is your Private Oasis, huh? It's nice! And I love the cabana! Me and the boys are gonna have to ransack it one of these days! Hehe!"

Link just laughed a little.

"Anyway, I'm glad I found this place. Hope I'm not too early..."

Link shook his head as a way of saying she shouldn't worry. However, his nervousness came back when Tetra forced her fingers back through her hair, causing it to fall behind her back in golden locks in a very provokative manner.

"So," she said, "You wanna lead me inside and show me around...?"

Link could tell she was thinking romantic thoughts, so if he was to ask about the party, he would have to now. Without a second thought, Link explained that while he would've loved to show her inside, he wanted to wait for the other guests to arrive. He then gave her a little wink and hoped she understood.

To his dismay, though, she seemed totally confused. "Other guests? What other guests?"

Link laughed, as if at a joke, but she wasn't joking. She was honestly perplexed. "Seriously, what other guests? I thought it was just gonna be you and me tonight..."

Right when Tetra said that, Link knew it - he was in deep shit. His four lovers were all coming to the Private Oasis hoping to have some alone time with him. What would happen when they all arrived and all saw each other trying to swoon Link? One thing was for sure - it wasn't gonna be pretty! Link's anxiety only heightened when he began to see the faint shadow of a something in the sky, flying towards the island. Medli! Tetra saw her too, but didn't seem to recognize her. "Hey, is that Rito planning to land here? She looks kinda familiar..."

Link promptly assured Tetra that she didn't know the Rito, and that she should go into the cabana and wait for him there.

Tetra could sense Link's apprehension. "Link, is everything OK? You seem stressed."

Link convinced her that he was fine and motioned for her to enter the cabana. When she didn't comply right away, he grabbed her by the arm, ran her up the steps, threw open the cabana door, shoved her inside, and closed the door again. He pressed his body against the door to keep her in as she banged on it to be let out. Link had acted not a minute too soon, for Medli had just landed on the island's shore. A minute after that, she came walking up the steps to greet a very frantic-looking Link.

"Hey Link!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know you owned both a sailboat AND a pirate ship! Neat! ...So anyway, it sure has been a while. What have you been up to?"

Link just nodded and continued to press his body against the cabana door. Medli seemed to notice that something was banging on it, as though trying to break out.

"Um, Link?" she asked, "Is someone else in there?"

Link sheepishly shook his head.

"Oh, are you sure? Because I thought it was just gonna be you and me tonight. I was really hoping for that... You were too, right?"

Link nodded again and laughed as though she was being silly. However, he suddenly grew wide-eyed when he noticed a sparkling silhouette hovering swiftly above the ocean's surface towards the island. Medli looked in the same direction as Link and saw it, too.

"Wow, what is that out there...?" she asked in wonder.

Link knew what it was, and frankly, he didn't want Medli to know! Realizing that Tetra had given up trying to beat her way out of the cabana (at least temporarily), Link darted forth, picked Medli up, ran with her to the top of the seaside bluff, and threw her into the empty treasure chest up there.

"Link! What the heck are you doi-!"

That was the last she said before Link slammed the lid shut. Breathing a sigh of relief - and exhaustion - Link ran back down to the shore to greet The Queen Fairy, who had just made landfall.

"Hello child!" The Queen Fairy said happily. "It's nice to see you again! Heehee!"

Link laughed along with her, glancing at the cabana door and treasure chest to make sure Tetra and Medli were still locked up.

"You know, I was wrong to kid with you. You really ARE my type! Would you like to experience the Sexual Ways of the Fairy?"

Link had to admit that sounded very appealing, but he was in such a state of panic that he couldn't stop doing double takes at the cabana door and treasure chest.

The Queen Fairy realized his odd behavior. "What's troubling you, Young One? Is there something you wish to tell me...?"

Link began to answer, but was suddenly interrupted by the loud sound of splintering wood. Whipping around, he saw Tetra had used a chair to bust her way through the cabana door! And boy, did she look pissed! As she angrily stomped down the steps toward Link, The Queen Fairy grabbed Link's shoulder in alarm. "Child, who's that beastly woman that just broke out of your cabana?"

"Beastly?!" Tetra shouted, stepping in front of the two and staring the Queen Fairy down. Her angry glare then turned to Link. "Link, who is THIS?!"

The Queen Fairy appeared offended. "Who am I?! Why Young Miss, I am the Queen of the Fairies! And may I ask, who are YOU and why are you here interrupting my date with Link?!"

"DATE?!" Tetra screamed furiously.

Hoo boy... Link could tell the sparks were starting to fly. He struggled to come up with an explanation, but before he had time to say much, all three of them were surprised to see Medli suddenly drop from above and land next to them all. Oh dammit, she must've beat her way out of the chest! Link KNEW he should've padlocked it!

Medli looked at Link and the two girls in confusion and hurt. "Wha-wha... L-Link, what's going on? Who are these girls?!"

Tetra sneered at her. "Ugh, I remember you! You're that ugly bird skank! What are YOU doing here with little miss Fairy Bitch?"

"I did NOT come with her!" The Queen Fairy argued. "She's just another trying to steal Link away from me!"

"_Steal Link away from you?!_" Tetra and Medli asked simultaneously. The two then looked at one another, jealousy flaming in their eyes.

At that moment, a loud whail came from overhead. All four of them looked up to see a strange man dressed in green riding a balloon. Link's jaw dropped to the floor. All this, and now Tingle shows up! This was just unbelievable!

"Mr Fairyyyyy!!" Tingle shouted, deflating his balloon and letting himself drop. "Oh Mr Fairy! It makes me so gay to see you again!" He landed hard on Link and pushed him to the ground. Link quickly shoved him off, and within a matter of seconds, Tingle too was caught up in the argument of who Link really loved, and who he was going to spend that night in the cabana with.

"Link and I are destined to be together and revive Hyrule! He's mine!"

"Nu-uh! NO way! Link and I went through a whole dungeon together! He loves ME!"

"You are all FOOLS! A hero like Link could only be matched with a queen like me!"

"Mr Fairy is mine! Miiiiine! KOOLOO-LIMPAH!!"

While this whole fiasco was going on, Link slowly began to back away and head for the King of Red Lions to make a getaway. It was kind of cowardly of him, but hey, he really didn't wanna be around when the bitin', kickin', and scratchin' started. Life was too precious! Besides, it's not like it was HIS fault that all these girls just so happened to wanna hook up with him at the same place at the same time! This was something these girls (and guy) would hopefully settle on their own...

"So Link, care to explain?!"

Link was about halfway to reaching his boat when he heard Tetra shout the question, stopping him dead in his tracks. Sweat dotting his face, he slowly turned around, and saw all four of his admirers just staring at him. All giving him a wicked cold stare of confusion and anger. Man, if looks could kill...

He continued to stare back at the four for a long time, just waiting for a miracle to happen and get him out of this mess...

"_WELL?!" _They all yelled in unison.

Link stood there for a few more seconds, observing the four jealous, rage-filled faces ahead...

And then bolted for his boat!

He leapt aboard with all due speed, and hoisted the sail just as fast. No time to change the direction of the wind! He just had to sail with it and let it carry him far away from that place! The wind filled the sail, and he was off. Thank goodness he was safe now!

However, Link's moment of peace was short-lived. The sound of the gong of Tetra's ship made his heart begin thumping in his chest. Looking back, he saw the massive ship beginning to leave port and sail southward as well... right after him!

But no, that was the least of his worries! Already catching up were Medli zeroing in on his boat like an angry falcon, and the Queen Fairy zooming inches above the waves towards him! There wasn't any visible signs of pursuit from Tingle yet, but... he was more than likely plotting to murder Link too.

Not good! o.0

Realizing there was no way to outrun four jealous admirers, Link decided that, as hurtful as it was, he had to fight back. Releasing the rudder and letting the boat move on its own, he pulled out his bow, nocked an arrow, and aimed at Medli, who was the closest to him. Just as she was about to dive bomb him into submission, he fired, clipping one of her wings. She yelped in pain and struggled to remain airborne, but eventually withered down and splashed into the ocean. One down, three to go!

Link was about to focus his attentions on the Queen Fairy, for she was just a little bit ahead of Tetra's ship, but the sound of an explosion in the sea right next to him made him jump. Looking up, he saw a furious-looking Tingle with a jetpack-equipped balloon flying overhead and dropping Tingle Bombs and wailing like a maniac. One of those Tingle Bombs would hit him for sure eventually, and if that happened, he was a goner. Acting fast, Link whipped out his Boomerang, aimed for Tingle's balloon, and chucked it. It whizzed through the air and easily sliced right through the balloon. "Mr Fairyyy!! NOOO!!" he screamed as his balloon fell limp and his jetpack went haywire. It whipped him around and launched him straight into the seaside cliff of a nearby island, causing him to disappear in a huge explosion. Link knew Tingle would be alright, what with that thick skull of his. However, Link had other things to worry about...

The Queen Fairy was catching up fast, and Tetra's ship, while still fairly behind, would still catch up eventually. On top of that, Tetra and the boys were now using the catapult to launch boulders his way! They fired with startling accuracy - each one landed mere feet from his boat, causing huge rippling waves that threw him about. He had to struggle just to stay aboard.

It was then that a terrible realization struck him - there was no way he could fight these two off. Medli and Tingle may have been easy, but what could he do to slow down The Queen of the Fairies? Or Tetra's massive pirate ship? They were both just too strong for any weapon he may have had! Looking back, he could see the Queen Fairy zooming above the waves towards him, and was now maybe a few tens of yards away. And another boulder from Tetra's catapult was hurdling through the air at him. Whether it be the Queen Fairy or Tetra's boulders, one of the two meant the end for him. Man, why did he have four people in love with him? WHY was he such a freakin' pimp!? He just then considered the option of using the Wind Waker and conducting the Ballad of Gales to warp him out of there, but there was just no time now. If only he'd thought of that sooner... Damn! By this point, there was nothing he could do except keep sailing with the wind as fast as he could, to stay ahead as long as possible, and to just keep praying for that miracle to come and save him...

A sudden gasp from the Queen Fairy made Link turn around. He saw that the Queen Fairy had just stopped chasing him. She was just hovering there above the surface, her hands cupped at her chest and her mouth slightly open. Almost like she was... scared. But, of what? A hopeless loook crossed her face, and to Link's surprise, she scowled at him and then simply vanished in a poof of light. Was she giving up? Cool! That means all there was left was Tetra's ship! Oh, wait. That wasn't good. He was still no match for that.

And yet, looking a little further beyond, he saw her ship had stopped, too! Wondering what was going on, Link took out his telescope and looked around the ship's deck until he spotted Tetra. She, too, was holding up a telescope and looking at him through it. Link watched her through his and she put down her own and gave him another of those looks. It was the same one Queen Fairy had given him a second ago - one of both hoplessness and anger. She then disappeared from view. A minute later, the huge boat began sail again, doing a 180 degree turn in the process and sailing away.

Link put his sail away, allowed the boat to stop, and just stood there for a minute or two, completely dumbfounded. What was it that had made those two cease their pursuit? They'd been catching up the whole time, and could have easily caught and mauled him. Something surely wasn't right...

Taking a look around, Link then noticed that there were really no islands around where he was. Odd... In the Great Sea, there was always at least ONE island visible, no matter where you were. Curious, Link checked his Sea Chart and looked for the little yellow arrow that magically pointed out his position...

He found it to be below the actual chart itself, facing south.

...Holy crap! He'd actually sailed beyond the boundaries of the Great Sea itself! He'd done it! w00t! THAT must've been what made The Queen Fairy and Tetra quit chasing him. No doubt! They were scared of what was beyond, just like the King of Red Lions had been!

However, Link found these waters somewhat... boring. That's just it - there was nothing. Nothing to be excited about, yet nothing to be afraid of, either. What was everyone's beef? Why were these seas forbidden?

Well, to be fair, Link had only gone a little ways past the border. There had to be something cool or scary out there somewhere. Yeah, definitely. Taking the chance, he hoisted his sail once again and let the wind carry him further into seas unknown. Feeling awfully tired after the little ordeal he'd just went through (how the hell had it happened anyway?!), Link decided to take a little snooze. When he woke up, he hoped to find himself in a strange new world to explore...

After about 5 minutes of trying to get to sleep, a distant roaring sound made him sit up with a start. What was that noise? It was a roaring, alright, but it was constant, never ceasing, and growing louder each second. Was it... a sea monster or something? Link looked around, but saw nothing of the sort. He stared ahead in the direction his boat was moving, and at first noticed nothing that way either. However, he then realized something strange... the horizon ended very suddenly in that direction, and the loud roaring was coming from that way as well. Heck, if Link didn't know any better, he'd have guessed he was heading for a huge waterfall...

...WATERFALL?!

Link gazed ahead in terror. It was true - the entire ocean was careening right off the edge of the earth! But where did all the water go to? Glancing up at the night sky, Link realized the only logical explanation was that it would send him flying off into the dark unknown. And his boat was already starting to tip over the oceanfall's crest! In a panic, Link grabbed the rudder pulled hard to the left, hoping to turn himself around...

Too late. The water's current had claimed him, and the next thing he knew, he was riding the huge oceanfall and falling backwards off the end of the world. He screamed and screamed, but in vain... he knew this was the end for him...

As Link and his boat cascaded down the falls, a strange sensation came over him. It felt like the falls were almost... curving? Yes, curving, almost like it was curving to a place_ underneath_ the Great Sea. Talk about weird!

Weirder still, Link was utterly shocked to then find the water begin to level out. It was no longer moving swiftly as if falling off the edge of the earth, but was rather growing flat and calm... like it was going from a waterfall back into an ocean again. This continued until Link no longer felt himself falling anymore. Promptly putting away his sail, he was now just floating there, calmly. As a matter of fact, Link almost did feel like he was _upside-down_, with the blood rushing to his head. This sensation was gone in a minute, though. Hmm...

Once Link was over the initial shock of what had just happened, he was in for another shock. The ocean his boat was now floating in... it wasn't the bright blue ocean he knew, but rather it was a sick purple color. And the sky... It was blood red, smeered with black clouds, and with no visible sun or moon. Hoping to explore this strange purple ocean a bit more, he took out his Wind Waker to change the wind's direction. However, Link didn't feel any wind to be controlled, and the Wind Waker itself just looked... lifeless. It didn't sparkle here as it once had. Putting the Wind Waker away, Link hoisted his sail anyway, and gasped when it actually filled with wind and began to move! Hmm, no wind, and yet sailboats still run perfectly as though there IS wind. Scary... but convinient!

After about five minutes of sailing, Link was entering what appeared to be the main area of this ocean. There were islands made of pitch black rock, and didn't appear to be inhabited by anything. The whole atmosphere of this place was making Link feel a little nervous. It was a totally new place for him, yet it seemed familiar... Where could he be?

Link felt a little better when he spotted his old buddies of the Salvage Corps nearby, searching the ocean floor for the 'Triumph Forks', as usual. Didn't even know it was called the 'Triforce', and that Link had already discovered it. Dumbasses. In any case, Link sailed on over to chat with them, but they didn't seem to appreciate his welcome.

"Yo bub, what's ya problem interruptin' us like dat?" Shouted the leader.

Link was surprised by this, since they were usually nice guys. He asked who the heck they were.

"Who are WE?! We're da Savaged Corpse, world-famous treasure hunters in search of the legendary Triumph Shorts! But dat's none o' ya business. Now what the heck do ya want?!"

Link simply wanted to know where he was.

"What, dis place? Dis ocean? Ya gotta be kiddin' me! How could ya not know da name of your own ocean! You retarded or somethin'?"

The other three all hissed at Link.

Link just shrugged and nodded, as though saying yes, he was retarded, and wanted to know.

"Ugh, stupid retards...! Dis is da MIRROR SEA! Can you say that, retard? _MIRROR SEA_!!"

Link was so confused by this that he didn't bother to say it along.

"What, can't ya even talk? Geez... and I thought I knew what stupid was!"

The other three laughed evilly.

Link questioned why this place was called the Mirror Sea. What was it a mirror of?

"How da heck should I know?! ...Well, actually, dere's a myth that says an identical ocean is on de other side o' the world, and dat everyone dere's all nice and stuff. But we know dat's all bullshit! Who ever heard of a place where everyone acts all NICE? Ain't dat right, boys?"

The other three laughed evilly again.

Link just said nothing and continued to think.

"Say bub, now dat I get a good look at you, I feel like I seen ya before. Don't you usually wear sunglasses o' somethin'...?"

Confused, Link shook his head.

"Well, whatever bub! You've overstayed yo' welcome! I answered yo question, now get lost before we rip ya apart!"

The other three hissed at Link once more.

Link, who had gotten the info we wanted, nodded and sailed off deeper into the Mirror Sea...

So, there was a myth that spoke of an identical ocean on the other side of the world... where everyone acted nice? Could that have been referring to the Great Sea? Then that would mean... The Mirror Sea was a mirror of the Great Sea, but instead where everyone acted mean! Could it really be true? Well, that couldn't be good... What if there were monsters here like there were in the Great Sea? They must've been all, like, EXTRA evil! Link wondered, was it worth it to actually seek some and find out...?

He decided it was. Extra evil monsters more fun to kill! Therefore, he changed course and headed to Shark Island... or rather, the dark mirror of Shark Island. He swelled in fear and excitement at what awaited him there...

When Link made landfall on dark Shark Island, he walked up onto the crusty black ground towards the hole that led to the monster cave. He always loved this cave back up on the Great Sea. He hoped to get a much bigger thrill out of this one! He eagerly dropped into the darkness and got ready. When he reached the bottom, he drew his Hero's Sword and stepped deeper into the cave. Any minute now, and all hell would be unleased...

Suddenly, Link caught sight of what looked like two Moblins sitting in the corner, chatting amongst themselves. Even in the dim light of the cave, Link could see their skin was green. That was a new color for Moblins he'd never seen... a color that was appropriately EXTRA evil! Without hesitation, Link dashed straight for them, letting out a warrior's scream. Both Moblins looked at him, and to his surprise, they screamed too - but they sounded like little girls!

"AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!" screamed the one.

"Oh dear!! He's got a SWORD!! HEEEELP!!" cried the other.

Link stopped and just stood there, watching the two Moblins scream and prance around like pansies. From within the cave, a huge number of Moblins, Bokoblins, and Darknuts came out to see what the commotion was, but as soon as they spotted Link standing there with his sword, they all began yelping and running around as well. It was the oddest and funniest thing Link had ever seen.

After all the hulabaloo finally settled down, Link apologized to the monsters for having scared them, since he really didn't expect that to happen.

"Oh, that's quite alright!" assured a Bokoblin, "We can understand why you'd think we are dangerous. We are a bit, shall we say, repulsive! Ho ho!"

"Yes, indeed!" reasoned a Darknut. "In fact, you seem like quite a nice young fellow, unlike most other humans we've met! Would you perhaps like to join us for a spot of tea and a game of darts?"

"Oh, I don't like darts!" squealed another Moblin. "They're so pointy and dangerous! One could prick himself with one!"

"Yes, indeed. That would be MOST unpleasant!"

"We should play a safe game that the young man would enjoy, like checkers!"  
"Oh YES, checkers! Cheerio to that!"

"CHEERIO!!"

Wow... This was definitely not was Link was expecting. He'd expected these guys to be all EXTRA evil, but they were anything but! In fact, they were actually all so friendly and intellegent. Just the total opposite of what he knew...

Just then, it hit him. Well DUH! Of course they're friendly and intellegent! They're the _mirror_ versions of the evil and stupid monsters he knew in the Great Sea! It all made sense now! In fact, he kicked himself for having not figured it out earlier...

Well, Link had all the answers he wanted now. And so, much to the dismay of this crowd of loveable monsters, he had to turn down their invitation to tea and checkers and be on his way.

"Oh, DO come back, Link! You're already a friend to all of us!"

Link nodded and gave a 'whatever' kind of look before stepping into the light that brought him back up to the surface.

As Link climbed back into the King of Red Lions, his mind really began to fill with wonder. Everyone and everything he knew from the Great Sea had a respective mirror in the Mirror Sea... For every nice and smart Salvage Corps in the Great Sea, there was a mean and bastardly Savaged Corpse to mimic them in the Mirror Sea. And for every stupid, evil monster up there in the light, there was an intellegent, kind monster down in the dark to balance it out. Amazing!

A thought then creeped into his mind... EVERYONE he'd ever met up there had an opposite clone down here... What about himself? Did he, Link, the Hero of Winds, have a clone of equal greatness in this Mirror Sea? If so, he must've been one bad dude! Ha! ...Ugh, actually, thinking about that made Link feel very uncomfortable. He wasn't entirely sure why...

And what about Grandma? And his little sister Aryll? They were the nicest people he'd ever hope to be in a family with. THEIR Mirror Clones musta been total asses, too!

And Tetra? Medli? The Queen Fairy? Tingle...? All four of his admirers... What could their Mirror Clones be like...? Thinking back to them, he wondered just what they were doing up there in the Great Sea. He hoped they'd been able to resolve some of their anger, though probably not. Damn...

Thinking back to the possibility of his own Mirror Clone, Link's curiosity overcame his fear. He'd already made it this far. He at least wanted to _see_ his Mirror Clone while he was there. Then he could say he actually saw his dark side! Debating no further, Link hoisted his sail and headed southwest for the mirror version of Outset Island...

Link reached dark Outset Island very quickly. Again, the invisible, unfeelable wind that somehow managed to blow in all directions at once made the trip very convenient. Link ran his boat aground and stepped off into the brown mud that made up the beach. Looking around, he saw this island looked identical to his home, as he expected, but just... all dark. And so quiet, seemingly void of life. Seeing his home island look like this was almost heartbreaking, but hey, he was here to see his Mirror Clone. He'd be outta there once he did...

Link walked up to the dark version of his house and walked up the steps. He was about to open the door, but figured that wasn't a good idea, especially since he heard voices inside. Angry-sounding voices. So, he decided to hide around on the patio and listen...

"C'mon Grandma, I need that shield! I'm doin' really important shit here!"

"Shut up! No grandson of mine is gonna take our family shield! Now sit down and let me force feed you your soup!"

"Screw that! I'm takin' this shield, and I'm gonna do what I gotta do! Some scrawny old lady like you ain't gonna stop me!"

"I don't care how mean you sound! You're not taking that shield! If you broke it, I would whip you so hard..."

"Whip me?! Bitch, I'll show you!"

The muffled sounds of a struggle ensued and ended abruptly. Link's teeth were chattering.

"Yeah... that's right. You stay on the ground, woman! I'm takin' this shield. And lemme wear this hat, for cryin' out loud. It's cool!"

The door to the house suddenly swung open... and out walked Mirror Link himself! And man, did he look like a rebel! He wore a black T-shirt with a skull and crossbones design, along with black jeans, leather boots, and dark sunglasses. He also wore a hat indentical to Link's, except that it was black (surprise!), and he wore it sideways, which actually looked kind of stupid. On his back, he carried a blue mimic of Link's Hero Shield, as well as a strikingly beautiful blade that actually looked a lot like the Master Sword that Link once wielded. The funny thing is, this guy looked _exactly_ the same as Link, just with much darker attire. It was kinda cool, but also a bit scary.

Link watched his Mirror Clone walk down toward the docks and step into a sleek blue motorboat with a dragon figurehead on the front. Link had seen it when he arrived, but he didn't realize it belonged to his Mirror Clone. Cool! Mirror Link got ready to fire up the motor when he caught sight of the King of Red Lions docked not too far away. He stared at it through his shades curiously, as though he recognized it and wondered what it was doing there. Link became a bit nervous. He hoped he hadn't been caught! For whatever reason, he felt like that would be a very bad thing...

But no. Mirror Link just shook his head, revved up the motor of his own boat, and began to zoom across the purple ocean and out into the firey red horizon.

Link had a feeling he should follow his Mirror Clone. He wasn't sure why, really, but... When he'd first gotten the family shield from his grandma, it marked the start of his big adventure to save the world. Now, his Mirror Clone had gotten the same thing... could that mean he was off on a big adventure of some sort, too?

Link decided he may as well follow his Mirror Clone and see what he was up to. Who knows, it might be interesting to see! Besides, he didn't really wanna go back to the Great Sea yet anyway. There were still jealous lovers up there that wanted to tear him apart! o0

That decided, Link proceeded to run down the steps and onto the beach, but not before he noticed his half-conscious Mirror Grandma lying down near the open door of the house, looking badly injured, her black dress battered and torn. He could see her mouth moving, and when he stood still, he could hear her talking to herself...

"Uhhnn... Ogghhh... I've raised... such a little bastard... Oh Knil, I'm so proud of you..."

Knil...? Was that the name of Link's Mirror Clone? Interesting...

Anyhoo, on with the mission! Link left his Mirror Grandma and continued across the beach towards the King of Red Lions. All the while, he kept his eyes on "Knil" and his escaping motorboat. He would be out of sight soon, and Link didn't want to lose him.

Link was a mere few yards from reaching his boat when he noticed someone standing nearby. He looked over, and who else should it be but Mirror Aryll! She wore a grey dress and wore dark makeup all over her face, especially under her eyes. While the real Aryll was always full of life and vigor, this one looked like a frickin' zombie. Made sense...

Link said hello and asked what she was doing.

Mirror Aryll said nothing. She merely walked straight up to Link and held up her telescope. Link took this as an offering and reached out to take it.

However, she merely raised the telescope up, smacked Link in the shin with it, and ran off. Holding his shin in pain, Link recalled how he'd kind of hoped to see the Mirror version of Aryll. Guess that was that!

Without any further delays, Link clambered into the King of Red Lions and began to sail after Knil, who was just beginning to disappear from view. Hopefully, he'd be able to keep him in view long enough to see where he was headed...

During the voyage, Link kept an eye out for any landmasses ahead that Knil could possibly be heading for. Where could Knil's big adventure be starting, he wondered? What could the purpose of his adventure be?

Before long, Link began to see the faint silhouette of the Tower of the Gods forming in the distance. Considering this was the Mirror Sea, Link decided to prematurely name it the Tower of the Devils (lol, funny!), and if he didn't know any better, he'd say that's where Knil was going. Well, actually, he DIDN'T know any better, so for all he knew, that very well could've been Knil's destination...

Link's guess proved to be correct. He could see Knil's boat slip between the pillars around the tower's base and into the watery courtyard. It took a little while for Link to reach there himself, but once he did, he put away his sail and parked his boat right behind one of the pillars. He still believed that he really didn't want to be seen by Knil, so he continued to spy by peeking around the pillar and viewing from his hiding place. Upon peeking into the tower's courtyard, Link was greeted to a strange sight...

He saw a motorboat and a submarine. The motorboat obviously belonged to Knil, with Knil himself still aboard. As for the submarine, it was made of metal and looked far more sophisticated than the wooden ones he was used to. And who was that standing aboard it? Well, Link wasn't entirely sure, but even in the shadows, he sure did look familiar...

"Status report, Frodnonag!" Knil ordered.

"Yessir!" the one called Frodnonag replied. "Everything's running smoothly, Knil. Our plan is easing through its middle stages with no difficulties whatsoever."

"Excuse me, but I think you mean MY plan..."

"Yes, of course! YOUR plan, is what I meant to say!"

So... "Frodnonag", huh? Upon closer inspection, Link could now see that this man was the Mirror Clone of none other than Ganondorf himself. Link wasn't that surprised to see him, though. It also wasn't too surprising to him that he would be working with a badass like Knil. Link continued to watch and listen with this new knowledge...

"So... does that mean you have it?"

"I do, Knil. It's in my cloak. Will you take it now?"

"I would, but... I think we should handle this somewhere else..."

"What? W-why not here?"

"Well Frodnonag, I don't want to say this in a very loud voice, but... I think there's a Greatling among us..."

"A Greatling? Here? In the Mirror Sea?"

"Yeah. You see, as I was leaving Upset Island to come here, I saw a boat docked there that, well... didn't look right. It couldn't be described as overly pimpin' or overly repulsive like every boat here in the Mirror Sea. It just looked... nice."

"...I see. Yeah, definitely a Greatling's boat..."

"Why it was docked at my island, I have no idea. It makes me believe that whoever it is _might_ be following us..."

"Following us?! Oh damn... Knil, you don't think it could be...?"

"Him? Naw, couldn't be. I already took care of him..."

"Oh, good. So... who do you think it might be then?"

Link's pulse had begun to quicken. He knew right then and there that if he were to be caught spying, it would be a very, VERY bad thing. He almost considered making a run for it at that moment.

However, something unexpected happened. He felt a tickle in his nose, and knew what was coming. He tried to hold it in, but he couldn't.

He let out a huge sneeze, and jumped back behind the pillar. He prayed they hadn't heard...

"Yo, Nonag, you heard that?"

"Yeah! Almost sounded like it came from behind... that pillar right there!"

"Oh shit! Someone IS spying on us! YO! WHOEVER YOU ARE, YOU BETTER START REPENTIN'!!"

Link knew the two would come around the pillar at any second, see him there, and proceed to kill him mercilessly. There was nowhere for him to run! He was in serious trouble!

But just then, an idea came to him. It was something that had worked for him in the past, so he may as well try it now...

_Meoooow...!_

"What the hell?" Knil asked, taken aback.

"What? What was it? I couldn't hear-"

"Shut up, Frodnonag! Listen...!"

_Meooooow...!_

"Is that... is that a cat?!"

"Sounds like it. But wait, how could it be? Cats don't live in the ocean, do they?"

_...M-meoooooow...!_

Knil rolled his eyes. "...That's cuz it's a CATFISH, ya moron!"

"Huh?" Frodnonag asked, before finally getting it. "Ooooh! A catfish! I get it!"

"Yeah, yeah, you get it! Anyway, no reason to flip out over some stupid catfish. Now, let's get down to business..."

Link sighed in relief, and couldn't help but laugh to himself. They actually believed it was a _catfish_?! Wow! It's a good thing he and Ganondorf were pretty smart guys. Made their Mirror Clones into total idiots!

The more Link thought about Ganondorf, though, the more confused he became. Ganondorf was still sealed by the Master Sword beneath the Great Sea, wasn't he? If so, shouldn't a similar fate have befallen Frodnonag? Or maybe not? There was still a lot to be learned about the link between regular people and their Mirror Clones. Putting that aside, Link continued to listen, but chose not to look.

"Listen, I'm not saying I know for sure that someone is following us. I'm just saying we should play it safe. I say we continue this meeting in a place where no Greatling could set foot even if they wanted to..."

"Where?"

"...Skinmaul Island."

"Oh, of course! Good thinking as usual, Knil!"

"I know. Now, hop on my boat and let's head on out. We can leave the sub here. No one'll give a damn about it."

"Sure thing. Let's go! Let's just hope we don't have a rat on our tail like you said..."

"Don't worry yourself, Frodnonag. Within a week's time, I assure you, both the Mirror Sea and the Great Sea will be ours!"

"Alright! I can hardly wait!"

"Me neither, buddy. Me neither..."

Link then heard the sound of the motorboat's engine sputtering and roaring to life, then the sound of the boat cutting through the waves as it exitted the Tower of the Devils' courtyard. Evidently, they were head to a place called "Skinmaul Island". Link nodded to himself, for he knew enough now to know that it was the Mirror version of _Windfall_ Island. As such, he felt confident that he already knew the way there!

And so, Link waited a minute or two for the sound of the motorboat to fade out, then brought out his sail and began to make way for Skinmaul Island himself. Knil and Frodnonag... These two were undoubtedly planning something sinister, so if anyone was to put a stop to it, who better to do it than Link, the Hero of Winds? Nobody, that's who!

Link gazed at the churning purple waves and the pulsating red sky as he sailed along, all the while just thinking. Something had occured to him that he hadn't thought of before. Ganondorf of the Great Sea was the most evil man to ever live, right? That means his Mirror Clone Frodnonag should've been nicer than Mr Rogers! Why was he all shady and evil, then? Why was he actually helping Knil with his plan to take over both the Great Sea and the Mirror Sea? If anything, Frodnonag should be the one kicking Knil's ass all over the place, just like Link did to Ganondorf...

...Could it be that, in the Mirror Sea, it was evil that always triumphed over good? Unfortunately, it did make sense...

In any case, Link would continue to pursue the two villians with hopes that he could solve this mystery and prevent the coming disaster...

By following his Sea Chart of the Great Sea, Link was able to locate Skinmaul Island with ease. As he expected, it looked just like a shadier, uglier version of Windfall Island. And its citizens all looked approriately thuggish and mean-spirited. It sure looked like a dangerous place for a kid like himself to be walking around all alone. For a second there, he tried to convince himself that maybe Knil and Frodnonag hadn't docked here, and that they must've gone somewhere else. However, all doubt left him when he saw Knil's motorboat at the docks. Oh boy... Looks like Link was gonna have to brave this place and find them!

Docking his own boat next to Knil's, Link hopped out and walked up the pier, but was stopped by a gruff-looking sailor. The Mirror Clone of a sailor on Windfall, no doubt. "Hey tiny, where do ya think YOU'RE goin'?"

Link pointed to Skinmaul Island's plaza.

"Kid, dis here is Skinmaul Island! Only da roughest and toughest are allowed ta set foot here!"

Link assured him that he _was_ pretty rough and tough, but the sailor just laughed.

"Ya takin' me for a fool, o' what?! A little featherweight midget like you? Rough n' tough?! Gimme a break! If ya just tryin' to make me laugh, you're succeedin'! But if ya still tryin' to get on dis here island, fo'get about it! It ain't gonna happen!"

Link made it clear he was getting on Skinmaul Island, and that there was nothing the sailor could to to stop him.

"Quit kiddin' yourself! You expect me to take a little brat in green tights seriously? Really, what da hell's with dat get-up? You look like a goddamn Greatling! Haha!"

By now, a large crowd of twisted, ugly townsfolk had gathered around to watch Link get humiliated. They all laughed along with the sailor.

Link simply nodded and said he WAS a Greatling.

The sailor just laughed again, as did everyone else. "Oh please! Everyone knows that if a Greatling comes to da Mirror Sea, he dies! You don't look very dead to me! At least not YET ya don't!"

Link looked around the laughing crowd for Knil or Frodnonag. He didn't see either. Feeling confident that he hadn't been caught, he ordered the sailor to give him a chance.

"Oh-hoho! Da little Greatling wants a challenge, huh? Alright, lesse what I can do for ya... Oh! How's about this... Prove ta me that you've got some fury in ya, and let out a roar!"

Link raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, ya heard me! Roar! Let the beast inside ya free! O' course, in your case, that beast is probably a cute wittle kitty cat o' somethin'!"

More laughter from the crowd.

"So, whenever you're ready! Show me some anger!"

Link sighed. Well, if he had to roar to get onto Skinmaul Island, that's what he had to do! Taking in a deep breath, he let out a high-pitched "Rahr!"

The crowd exploded with laughter. Especially the sailor. " HAHA! Oh man, what da hell was dat?! You gotta have more of a fire in ya belly than DAT! C'mon! Try one more time!"

Growing frustrated, Link inhaled deeply, and tried harder this time. "R-raaahhhrrr...r...r!!"

The crowd went hysterical once more. The sailor was laughing so hard was crying. "Goddamn, dat wasn't _even_ a cute wittle kitty cat! You're hopeless kid! Seriously! Get outta my face, and don't even think about tryin' to get on dis island ever again! Sheesh!"

Link was now officially pissed. The laughter of the crowd ringing in his ears, he mustered up every ounce of frustration in his body, and let out one last roar...

_**"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRR!!"**_

Immediately following his monstrous roar, Link drew his sword and leapt high in the air. He came down upon the bewildered sailor and let loose with a wild fury of sword slashes!

When Link finally stopped, the sailor appeared completely unscathed...

That is, until all of his clothes suddenly came apart and fell in a heap at his feet! The now barenaked sailor yelped, hid his nether regions with his hands, and ran away screaming.

It was now Link's turn to laugh. Sheating his sword, he walked coolly off the pier and onto Skinmaul Island with no trouble. Nobody bothered to stop him. As far as they were concerned, Link had shown he was more then tough enough to be accepted!

So, Link had gotten onto the island. Now all he had to do was look for Knil and Frodnonag. Where could they be? They obviously weren't outside, for they would've witnessed the funny scene at the pier. They must've been in one of the buildings... He had to think. Where would two villians go to discuss an evil plan on an island like this? What building on regular Windfall Island could've served this purpose...?

At last, Link snapped his fingers. The Windfall Cafe! He hurriedly ran through the plaza towards the Mirror version of the cafe, which he found to be called Skinmaul Pub. He could've guessed. :P

Link opened the door and ran up the steps leading up to the pub. Just as he reached the top, though, he carefully peeked into the pub while remaining hidden. Ah-hah! There, sitting at the table, were Knil and Frodnonag, discussing something over a few pints. So Link was right!

There was a problem, though. While Link needed to stay in hiding, he couldn't stay on the stairs and listen to the conversation. There were many other customers, and it was fairly loud. Link would have to get close to hear, but he couldn't just walk over there and listen. He needed... a disguise. He would start by taking off his cap and tucking it into his shirt to make it looks like a tie or something, but that wasn't enough. It needed a little something else. Digging into his pockets, he found a pair of scissors and some scotch tape. No big surprise, since he was the kind of guy that carried scissors and tape with him all the time. But how to use them...?

"...And that's where cheese comes from!"

"What?! No way!"

"Yeah, really!"

"You're full o' shit, Knil, and you know it."

"Thanks, I'm quite proud! Anyway, enough about that. Let's get down to business..."

"Yes, of course. But let's be sure to continue that conversation again later on. Very interesting!"

The two noticed one of the pub's employees was cleaning the countertop nearby. The janitor, maybe? He had a mop of messy yellow hair, wore green clothes with a green tie, and sported a mustache that was the same color hair as that on his head. In fact, it looked as though he could've just snipped some of his hair off and taped it under his nose to look like a mustache, but that was silly. Who would do that? The two villians didn't even pay him any mind and talked.

"So, you managed to retrieve it from all the way down there, yeah?"

"I did, Knil. It's right in here..."

Frodnonag opened his cloak to show Knil his prize. Within the cloak was a sweet-looking sword with a blade that looked like it could've been forged from the night sky itself. Carved into the blade were the words "KILL ALL BETRAYERS". Nice. Perhaps the weirdest thing was how it glowed... it was all dark, yet it shone like light. How can something dark shine like that? Creepy. o0

"Ah YEAH!" Knil exclaimed. "The Bashter Sword! That's one sexy blade..."

"Got that right," Frodnonag agreed. "It was a total pain in the ass to get, but hey, I got it! So I don't think you've told me yet, but what exactly do you plan to do with it?"

"Umm... Don't worry about it. I guarantee you I'll put it to good use, though. Hehe!"

"Um, alright. Does that mean you'll take it now?"

"Not yet. I'll save that for when I confirm the success of my plan dealing with my Great Clone. He's the only one in either the Great Sea or the Mirror Sea that could stand a chance against us..."

It was noticed the nearby janitor suddenly stopped whiping the counter at that point, but they continued talking anyway.

"Ah, right. Speaking of which, you got the Great version of the Bashter Sword, right? To keep him from getting it?"

"Well no shit!" Knil said gruffly, pulling his own sword out of his sheath, which was revealed to be the actual Master Sword. "I did it for that, yeah, but also to set you free. After all, when my Great Clone shoved this sword into your Great Clone's head and turned him to stone, it put YOU into a state of suspended animation, isn't that right?"

"Yeah, that's right..."

"Yeah, so I pulled it out so I could set both you and your Great Clone free, thus putting my whole plan into effect! And, as you said, I also plan to hold onto it so that my Great Clone can't use it against us. And... hey, wait! I've explained all this to you already!"

"Oh, right. Sorry... It's just, ya know, my Great Clone's real smart. Makes me a little slow, I gotta admit. Still evil, of course! But just... yeah."

"Yes, I know... Meh, minor setback. When I get the chance, though, we'd better go down there to the Great Sea and tell him to start acting a little dumber, for our sakes!"

They both laughed. The janitor had been cleaning the same glass on the counter for nearly five minutes now. Others in the pub were starting to look at him funny.

"So what IS the status on your Great Clone?" Frodnonag asked Knil. "How's your plan to ruin his life going?"

"Well," Knil began, a grin spreading across his face, "In case your stupid brain forgot again, my goal is to keep the Master Sword from him while also trying to make his life miserable so that he'll be totally incapacitated!"

"Right, I remember that plan. It's brilliant!"

"You know it! As for the status of the plan, it's going smoothly. I've sent four more letters out to his admirers, asking them all to meet him on Windfall at 2 am in the morning. Their replies should be getting back to him sometime soon. By getting all the women who love him to hate each other, and eventually to hate him too, that'll definitely make him lose the will to fight once we start taking over the world!"

"Hellz yeah! Oh, and what about his family. Did you already...?"

"Yup. That's all taken care of, as well. He'll be crying in emotional pain before long!"

The janitor was now staring at the two coldly, most likely listening to every word. They didn't notice, though.

"Now then, about the cream of the crop... The Trischwartz!"

"Oh, yes! YES! How's the hunt going for that? Tell me it's going good or I'll rip your throat out!"

"No worries, buddy. It's going great! You see, unlike the Great Sea's 'Triforce', or whatever the hell it's called, the Trischwartz has yet to be discovered, so all three pieces are still intact. Meaning, if we can find it, it's all ours!"

"Yeah, but only so long as our hearts are balanced, right?"

"True that. Only the heart of a total jackass can use it's power to the fullest. That said, I don't think either of us have nothin' to worry about! Ain't I right? Haha!"

"Oh yeah, you're right there!"

"Yup! While you were fishing for the Bashter Sword, I went to send the chart to Mangle. He's deciphering it as we speak. It should be all done soon, and when it is, the Trischwartz'll practically be ours! And believe me Frodnonag, once I have the Trischwatrz, I will be unstoppable!"

"Umm, don't you mean 'we'...?"

"Uh, sure. Of course. WE will be unstoppable!"

"Alright! w00t! Oh man, I cannot wait for that day to come!"

"Don't worry Frodnonag. If all works out, that day will be tomorrow!"

Both villians commenced their cliched evil laughter, though not loud enough to look dumb in the middle of the pub. The weird janitor was standing nearby, and for the first time, Knil took notice. Had he been listening...?

Link knew this disguise had been a good idea. He'd heard every bit of Knil and Frodnonag's discussion, and they didn't even seem to notice. Nice! By this point, it seemed like that discussion was over, though, for they were now talking about cheese again. Also, Link was getting strange looks from others in the pub, so he figured it was time to sneak out. Once outside, he would think a bit about what he was going to do next, but right now, it was time to make an exit...

Link carefully walked past the table of the two villians and headed silently for the stairs. As he was walking, though, he felt the tape under his nose come loose. Looking down, he saw the small lock of his hair land on the floor. Oh noez, his mustache! He was exposed! And worse yet, it had landed right next to the villians' table! Not wanting to risk being seen without his mustache, Link immediately dove for it. However, he lost control and cracked his head on the edge of the table. He fell backwards on his ass and looked up, rubbing his head. Knil and Frodnonag were both staring at him.

"Hey you!" Knil shouted.

Link knew what was coming. He shielded his face and prepared for the worst...

"Hey pal, I'm tryin' ta tell you that you dropped ya mustache!"

Confused, Link opened his eyes, and saw Knil holding the fake mustache out to him.

"You'll need it to look tough around here," Knil assured him. "You look like a freakin' Powerpuff Girl without it."

Link stared at Knil for a second in disbelief. He then nodded, took the fake mustache, and taped it back under his nose.

"Much better," Frodnonag said. "Don't go losin' it again, or you'll get the crap kicked out of you for sure."

Link thanked them both for their concern.

"Concern, Shmoncern!" Knil blurted. "We ain't concerned about you! We just didn't wanna have to look at that ugly, mustache-less face no more. Now get lost! We're busy!"

"Yeah!" Frodnonag said. "Get lost, before we strangle you with your own intestines! Ya hear?"

Link just nodded, waved, and ran out of the pub, leaving the villians to just laugh and continue their conversation about cheese. As he did, he heard the raspy voice of a sailor begin talking to the villians. "Hey," he said, "You twos hear about the Greatling wannabe that just got on da island? Funniest story ever...!"

Upon returning to the King of Red Lions, Link couldn't help but laugh out loud to himself. Damn, was his Mirror Clone that much of an idiot?? The two had been staring one another in the face, and Knil STILL didn't recognize him! Frodnonag, too! At that rate, Link didn't have to be so careful about not being seen.

Something was strange, though. For such dim-witted guys, they did have a pretty elaborate plan in the works. As far as Link could tell, the basic idea was this - Knil and Frodnonag planned to use the Basther Sword and the Triscwatrz, obviously the Mirror versions of the Master Sword and the Triforce, to rule over both the Great Sea and the Mirror Sea. Knil had freed Ganondorf from the Master Sword in order to awaken him, as well as Frodnonag, since both were essential to his plan. Also, since Link was supposedly the only one who could stop them, they hoped to keep the Master Sword out of his grasp to keep him from using it against them. And did Knil say he was also trying to make all of Link's lovers turn against him to make him lose the will to fight? So HE was the one who'd invited them all to meet Link at the Private Oasis at the same time. And he'd evidently sent a second set of letters out inviting the girls to meet at Windfall at 2 am that night. He was framing Link and trying to make him look like a scumbag! That scumbag!

They'd also mentioned something about Link's family...

Oh no... Had Knil done something to hurt Grandma and Aryll? If so, Link wouldn't know what to do. He'd surely lose the will to fight if he lost them. And that's exactly what Knil and Frodnonag wanted. Link hated to admit it, but those two were doing their job well...

Through it all, though, there were still a few unanswered questions. The big one that still bothered him was, if Ganondorf was so evil, why was his Mirror Clone evil too? Judging from those friendly monsters Link had met earlier, he'd have guessed Frodnonag would be nice as well. Hmm... This really made Link question Ganondorf's role in this plan. He was supposedly up there (or down there??) in the Great Sea at that moment. Why was he not there in the Mirror Sea helping Knil and Frodnonag? Very strange indeed...

And another question, what did Knil plan to do with the Bashter Sword? He didn't want Frodnonag knowing, so it must've been a personal desire for Knil. Still, Link couldn't help but taste a hint of deception between the two villians... Just how was all this going to play out?

Well, on thing was for sure - it wasn't gonna end good if Link didn't do something about it. And quick. The chart that would lead Knil and Frodnonag to the coveted 'Trischwartz' was evidently being deciphered at that moment, and would be done soon. Link decided that if he was to get to the bottom of all this, he would have to make a trip back to the Great Sea. Not only to find out Ganondorf's role in Knil's plan, but also to check on the safety his family.

And as for his four admirers... All four of them were supposed to be meeting at Windfall, and fairly soon. Well, at least Link knew to avoid that place. o0

Link was worried about leaving these two villians unsupervised, but he needed to confirm these few things back on his home ocean. He would return to the Mirror Sea soon.

Figuring the oceanfall to the south was Great Sea to Mirror Sea only, Link decided to sail off the northern border. As he predicted, this oceanfall appeared to 'fall' back to the Great Sea. Sucking in his stomach, he sailed off the edge. As he curved over the falls, Link knew what his first destination would be once he was back in the Great Sea - The Forsaken Fortress...

After being spit out by the oceanfall back towards the northern border of the Great Sea, Link took a minute to savor his beautiful home ocean, and how good it felt to be back after the time he spent in the ugly-as-crap Mirror Sea. Even the air felt fresher. For some reason, it felt like the air of the Mirror Sea slowly had slowly been sucking the life out of him! Thank goodness he'd made it back to the Great Sea before it got too bad...

Now that Link once again had to rely on the real wind, he used his Wind Waker to make the wind blow west, towards the Forsaken Fortress. It didn't take too long to reach there. Knowing Ganondorf was back, Link sailed towards it cautiously. He expected it to be filled with monsters as it had once been, with Ganondorf himself there to greet him.

However, to Link's surprise, he found it empty when he sailed into the watery courtyard. Perhaps Ganondorf was in hiding, waiting in ambush? Dismounting the King of Red Lions, Link drew his sword and walked quietly ashore. It was an eerie place to be in the dead of night, but the more Link waited, the more convinced he became that the place really was empty. After all, there was no sound to be heard, save for the howling winds. No light shone through any windows, either. The place was dead, plain and simple.

Link was very confused. Ganondorf was back, of that he was sure. So, why wasn't he there? Of all places, he should be in the Forsaken Fortress. Had he perhaps made a base of operations somewhere else? Odd...

"GGGGYYYYYAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Link jumped when he heard a petrified scream come from behind. Sword ready, he whirled around, and found himself staring at the only living thing in the whole place - a single Moblin. But, something was wrong with him. He looked all wobbly and uncoordinated, his eyes shifting all about. More cries escaped his throat. It was as though he'd witnessed something traumatic and had gone completely mad. Actually feeling a bit scared, Link backed up and asked what the heck his problem was.

The Mobin quivered and shook. "G-Ganondorf..." he stammered. "W-Why...? WHY?! Why did you do this to me!?" He wobbled past Link towards the stone stairs that led down to the small boat dock. Link tried to tell him to be careful, but the Moblin didn't listen.

"Ganondorf... You used to be... W-what happened to you...?! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THE WORLD?! GGGGYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

The Moblin then lost his footing and toppled down the stairs. He landed hard on his back at the bottom, next to the King of Red Lions, and didn't move.

Link was still freaking out a little bit, but he soon worked up the nerve to walk down the steps to examine the Moblin. His neck looked a little crooked. Was he dead? Maybe. Maybe the Moblin had wanted to die? It sure seemed like it. But, what could Ganondorf have done to him to make him go crazy like that?

Link wasn't sure why, but he decided to flip the Moblin's body over. He was a bit heavy, but Link managed to overturn him, thus revealing his back. What Link saw baffled him now more than ever. On the Moblin's back, tattooed in green ink, were the words:

**SPREAD HAPPINESS AND JOY TO EVERYONE!**

What in the hell? Why would a Moblin have a message like THAT tattooed on his back? Even Link himself was too manly for a tattoo like that! Something was very fishy here...

Hoping the Moblin still had some life left, Link asked him where Ganondorf was.

"W-WINDFALL!" The Moblin blurted before going limp again.

Ah, so Ganondorf was on Windfall? What was he doing there? The only way to find out was to go there. Leaving the crazy Moblin behind, Link hopped into the King of Red Lions and got ready to head towards Windfall Island...

It was then he realized - all of his admirers had been invited there, hadn't they? They were all supposed to meet there at 2 am! Link checked his watch, and sure enough, it was already 2:15. Tensions must've already been arising between them all. Great... The one place Link hoped to avoid, and he now had to go there. If anything, this experience was going to be ten times worse than the one back at the Oasis. Oh boy, he was in REAL trouble now...

However, Link had to remind himself that Ganondorf was there, too. And, if he were to ever have a shot at learning more about Knil's plan, he had to go there. Now. Of this, there were no ifs, ands, or buts. Such was the life of the Hero of Winds.

Yeah. Some life...

Sucking up his courage, Link played the Ballad of Gales and chose to warp to Tingle Island. Not to visit Tingle, of course, because Tingle should've already been on Windfall fighting with the other girls (o0;). Link just wanted to warp somewhere near Windfall, but not close enough that the jealous admirers there would see him descend. If he was to find Ganondorf on Windfall without being caught by any of his admirers, he was gonna have to play it really safe...

After being dropped off near Tingle Island by the cyclone, Link took out his telescope and looked in the direction of Windfall. He was hoping to spot the positions of the four lovers before actually sailing over there. He first spotted Medli, sitting on the bench on the small clifftop and looking out to sea, most likely waiting for him to arrive. He then saw Tingle and the Queen Fairy on the southern shore, quarreling about something. Again, probably about him. It made Link a little despressed to think about that. Ugh, why'd he have to be so lavishly handsome and cool?

As for Tetra, there was no sign of her, but her pirate ship was docked there, so that meant she was there too. All four of them, just waiting for him to show up and kill him for inviting those other girls (and guy). This had 'long night' written all over it...

Without putting away his telescope, Link took out his bow. He taped the telescope to the bow in order to make a sort of sniper scope. His goal was to extinguish the light of Windfall's lighthouse to darken the island, in which case he could dock there unseen. Shooting a moving target from this far was going to be tough, but Link had confidence in his archery skills. He took out an Ice Arrow and nocked it on the bow. Then, peering through his makeshift scope, he aimed at the torch in the lighthouse, drew the bow's string all the way back, and let it fly. The Ice Arrow flew across the night sky, straight towards the lighthouse. Link prayed that it would make it...

Miraculously, Link's prayers were answered. A minute later, a flash was seen atop the light house and the entire sea went pitch black. w00t! He'd done it! It was now time to infiltrate! He used the Wind Waker to make the wind blow northeast and headed straight for Windfall, not knowing what awaited him there...

Link got a strange feeling of deja vu as he stepped onto Windfall's dock. It reminded him of when he'd docked at Skinmaul Island earlier that night, almost like he was stepping onto a new island full of dangers unbeknowest to him. Well, he did have good reason to be afraid at that moment...

Link looked over at the Queen Fairy and Tingle, who were still arguing on the beach. They seemed too absorbed in their argument to notice Link, so he walked up into the town square unnoticed. He was aware that Medli was still sitting on that bench, so he didn't have to worry about her. Tetra, though, could be anywhere. He'd have to be careful of her...

And Ganondorf... where could HE be? Link had no idea, so he'd have to keep his eye out for any clues...

After silently looking around the square for a while, Link moved onto the shopping district on the western side of the island, and soon found himself near Medli's bench. It was near there that Link finally found a clue.

On the ground was a piece of paper. Link couldn't tell what it said, save for the one large, handwritten word on the bottom:

_'GANONDORF'_

Aha! Link knew that piece of paper had information on Ganondorf's whereabouts. However, it was dangerously close to Medli's bench. Was it worth the risk to go over and snatch it? Link decided it wasn't, and merely took out his telescope with hopes to see paper's words from a distance. Just as he took his telescope out, though, something unfortunate happened.

A strong breeze suddenly blew by...

And the paper was blown onto a spot right under Medli's bench. And worse yet, it was now upside-down, so the telescope wouldn't help!

Link cursed to himself. Of all rotten luck, THIS had to happen!

...Well, looks like he had no choice now. He was going to have to crawl under there and retrieve that paper without being caught. Oh man, this was gonna to be RISKY, but if it meant finding Ganondorf, then it had to be done. Swallowing heavily, Link lowered himself down onto his stomach and proceeded to shimmy over to the bench. He just hoped Medli wouldn't turn around and would remain looking out at the sea...

Despite his moving so slowly, Link found himself right behind the bench rather quickly. Medli was so busy looking out at sea for Link that she didn't even notice he was right behind her! Ha! Irony. The mysterious paper was now within Link's grasp. With no worries, he reached out for it.

Link's eyes suddenly grew wide when he felt another strong breeze fly by. Just as he was about to close his fingers around the paper, it blew out of reach again, and got caught right on Medli's ankle! And it was still facing the wrong way so he couldn't read it! Link felt like screaming in frustration, but he knew better.

Holding his breath, Link crawled just a wee bit further underneath the bench, and reached out towards the paper once more. It was only a few inches away, but it felt like he was reaching out for miles ahead. Sweat dotted his face and his heart began to thump wildly. If Medli so much as looked down, she would see his hand, and he would be caught. Link did not want that, but the paper was so close...

_So close..._

_So clooooose...!!_

YES! At last, he got it! He'd finally gotten the clue to Ganondorf's whereabouts. And Medli hadn't spotted him. Phew! Now all he had to do was crawl out from under the bench, hide somewhere to read the paper, then follow its clues to Ganondorf! He sighed in relief and got ready to crawl out from under the bench.

"Hey, bird bitch!"

Link froze in his spot. He knew that voice - it was Tetra's. And it was coming from behind. She clearly hadn't noticed that he was under the bench, so he covered his eyes and prayed she wouldn't.

"What do YOU want, Little Miss Fearsome Pirate?"

"Oh, you KNOW I'm fearsome when I have to be! Don't tell me you're looking out there for Link, cuz he's not here to meet you! He said in his letter that he didn't know you or those two, and that I'M the one he loves."

"Oh, you're mistaken!" Medli replied angrily, getting up from the bench to confront Tetra. "He sent a letter to ME, and it said that I'M his true love, not you or anyone else...!"

Whew, that was a close call. Both girls were so riled up in their jealousy that they still hadn't seen him! It was still risky to stay under the bench, though, so Link decided his best option was to lower himself down onto the nearby cliff face and hide there until the girls left. Link did just that, and decided this was a good spot to read the paper he'd gotten. It was hard to concentrate, though, for he could still hear the girls arguing.

"Bullshit! You're just here to try and steal him away because you're jealous that the Hero of Winds love me! Just like you did back at his Private Oasis!"

"Oh, you wanna talk about that? Well, if you love him so much, why were you launching boulders at him from your ship?!"

"Oh yeah? Well why were YOU chasing him and threatening to kill him?!"

"Don't pin anything on me! You're in total denial!"

"I'M in denial! Oh, I'll show you who's in denial...!"

Link could then hear the shuffling of feet coming closer. Uh-oh, that couldn't be good...

Link gasped when he saw both girls suddenly shove one another off the edge and fall off the cliff, right in front of him! They screamed all the way down before landing in the ocean with a SPLASH!

A few seconds later, they resurfaced, and continued to claw and slap at each other in the water.

Link had to admit, seeing Tetra and Medli catfight in the water like that was pretty hot. He would've loved to stay and watch, but he was at risk of being seen again. Therefore, he hastily climbed back up onto the ledge, but not before using his Pictobox to snap a few shots. ;)

Once back up on flat land and out of the catfighting girls' view, Link figured now was the best time to read the paper. Who knows when something unexpected would happen again? He held it up and read its words:

**Kindness Award**

**This monthly award goes to **

**the nicest citizen of Windfall Island. **

**This month, **

**we gladly present the award to... **

_**GANONDORF**_

_**Current Volunteer - and Resident of - Ms Marie's School of Joy**_

Congratulations!

What... the... hell?

Link couldn't believe what he was seeing. Was this a Kindness Award? Awarded to _Ganondorf_?!

No, this couldn't be right. There had to be some misake. Ganondorf was the most evil man ever in the history of the world. Ain't no way he could win an award for being nice to anybody. This thing even claimed he was a volunteer at Ms Marie's School of Joy! Plus, it even said he LIVED there! This thing couldn't be accurate. It just couldn't be...

Come to think of it, it WAS the first day of the present month. That must mean this award had been given out very recently, didn't it? Hmm...

Regardless how unbelievable this whole thing was, Link figured it wouldn't hurt to check Ms Marie's School of Joy for anything. After all, this award was the only lead he had at the moment...

Putting the award in his pocket, Link treaded slowly across the plaza towards Mrs. Marie's School of Joy. He then carefully opened the door and looked in. It was dark and quiet, as he suspected. He snuck in and eased the door shut, then took out a Fire Arrow to light the area around him. He walked around the interior, shining his light on everything with hopes of finding any evidence that Ganondorf had been there. Just when he got to examining the last corner, his fire illuminated a sight that he half-expected to see, yet still surprised him.

There lay Ganondorf, the King of Evil, the yin to Link's yang, lying on a seemingly homemade bed. He was fast asleep, with an odd grin spread across his face. It was hard to tell what the grin could mean, but it seemed to show happiness of some sort. Seeing Ganondorf alive again after having impaled his head with the Master Sword made Link's stomach lurch. It made Link wonder what Ganondorf would think if he saw him standing there over his bed. Would he try to kill him? Creepy thought...

Link then took out that Kindness Award he'd found earlier, and found himself confused again. OK, so it was true that Ganondorf was a resident of Mrs Marie's School of Joy. But... was he really a volunteer there? And had he REALLY won this award? What could prompt Ganondorf to suddenly want to act nice all of a sudden? Had he really been taught a lesson by having the Master Sword jammed into his skull? Maybe. If that was the case, then that might explain why Frodnonag was evil. Made sense, right? Ganondorf used to be bad, so his Mirror Clone used to be good. Now, Ganondorf's good, so his Mirror Clone's bad. Yeah, made perfect sense!

So... what did that mean? Did that mean Link could actually trust Ganondorf now? What a weird question...

Then again, maybe not...

Link then spotted something on a nightstand nearby. It was an old book. On the cover read:

**Ganon's Journal**

Ah, finally! A dependable source for some answers! Without thinking twice about it, Link snatched the diary and opened it to the latest entry. He then began to read...

--

_Dear Journal, something miraculous happened today. After being impaled through the head with the Master Sword by that little bastard, Link, I thought for sure it meant another couple hundred years of imprisonment. However, a vision suddenly came to me. It was almost like a dream... A young boy, who looked a lot Link, but a lot... cooler-looking. He reached out his hand to me, and at that point, the image faded into darkness. The next thing I knew, I was alive again! I was floating in the courtyard of the Tower of the Gods, with a strange boat floating nearby. Aboard was the boy I'd seen in my vision, holding the Master Sword and inviting me onto his boat. Could this boy be Link? Why did he free me? While I'd love to resume my world domination plans, he seems eager to tell me about something, so I'll give him a chance. What could his motives possibly be...?_

_It turns out this child isn't Link at all, but rather Link's Mirror Clone, Knil. I'd heard the legends of a world on the opposite end of ours that was a mirror of our own, but I was never convinced it existed. This kid sure seems like the opposite of what Link would be, though. In any case, we're heading back to the Forsaken Fortress to discuss a 'plan' of his that he claims I need to take part in. I normally like to be the one who devises the evil plans, but he promises that I'll get something good out of it. I'm eager to see what it is..._

_From what I can understand, this is what Knil has in store for us... _

_There is evidently a Mirror version of the Triforce that Knil hopes to get his hands on to control the Mirror Sea. He says he'll need help from a partner, and that I would be ideal for the job. However, there's a major problem - if anybody spends a total of six hours in the opposite sea of their nature over the course of their entire life, they will die. This is because the toxins that one inhales from the opposite sea's air remain in the lungs forever. Knil himself claims he's clocked in about 5-and-a-half hours in the Great Sea already, and that he needs to be getting back to the Mirror Sea soon. If I go with him as his partner, of course, I will die too, for we'll need far more than six hours in the Mirror Sea to get the job done. Therefore - get this - he wants me to act nice. That's right. He wants ME, the King of Evil, to act NICE! Unbelievable, isn't it journal? I thought so too, but Knil's explanation was that if I act nice, my Mirror Clone Frodnonag, who is already nice, will become evil, and therefore become a perfect ally for Knil. That way, I can help him indirectly while we both can remain alive! And my reward for helping him? The Mirror version of the Master Sword... the Bashter Sword! A sword of darkness enough to counter that of the Master Sword itself! Behind the Triforce, this Bashter Sword is likely the best tool I can use to conquer the Great Sea and Hyrule beneath its waves! And to finally get revenge upon Link... that little terd..._

_Speaking of the Master Sword, I asked why Knil was carrying it in his sheath. Now, here's another reason I want to help this guy - He understands that Link is the only one that can stop him, but he can't just get rid of Link by killing him, because if a person dies, their respective clone in the other sea dies as well. Therefore, instead of killing Link, he's trying to make him completely incapacitated to fight, not only by keeping the Master Sword from him, but also by trying to make him miserable! How, you ask? By making his four admirers turn against him, as well as his own family! HA! Genius! I should've guessed Link's Mirror Clone could come up with such devious plans! After hearing this, my decision is final - I'm going to help this kid get what he wants. It won't interfere with my own quest to take over the Great Sea (he just wants the Mirror Sea after all), and I'll also score the ultimate evil weapon to use on an emotionally broken down Link! Am I willing to act nice for a little while in order to have this happen? You bet your ass I am!_

_I waved good-bye to Knil as he set sail for the northern end of the ocean to head back to the Mirror Sea. As for me, I think I'll start my random acts of kindness here in the Forsaken Fortress, then maybe continue somewhere where they'll be more appreciated. Like, say... Windfall Island. I think I'd best start right away..._

_Well, been on Windfall for a day now, acting nice to everyone and all that. Geez, acting nice is harder than I thought, especially for one as evil as me! The stupid townsfolk seem to be buying it, though, so it's all good. Hell, my first day here and I'm already given a 'Kindness Award'. It almost makes me disgusted, but proud that I'm doing my job well. I hope Knil is doing his well, too, and that my Mirror Clone is helping him like he needs. I hungrily await the day he steps up onto this shore with that Bashter Sword. When that day comes, my vengeance on this Great Sea, and Link the Hero of Winds, shall be mine!_

_--_

And that was that. Link learned a lot more from Ganondorf's Diary than he'd hoped, really. But hey, at least he was now able to fill in a few gaps, such as how Ganondorf was freed, and what his true role in Knil's plan was. So Ganondorf had to act nice to make Frodnonag mean, thereby giving Knil the ally he needed. Pretty smart, he had to admit...

However, there were a couple things that really bothered Link. Was it true that if one spends a total of six hours in the opposite sea throughout their entire life, then they'll die? How long had Link been in the Mirror Sea? He'd gone in at about 8:30 pm, and exitted at around 1:30 am. That was five hours. Damn, one more hour and he'd have been a goner! Good thing he made it out OK! Oh wait, he knew he was gonna have to go back eventually to stop Knil's plan. Damn... looks like he had to make the best of that one hour.

Also, if someone dies, their respective clone in the opposite sea dies, too? Well crap, guess that scratched Link's initial idea of just killing Knil to end his plan! It then made sense to him... THAT'S why Knil was trying to keep the Master Sword out of Link's reach and make his life miserable. Link had been wondering this whole time why Knil couldn't just take a minute to stab Link and end it. Man, that Knil... he may not have been too bright, but he knew how to plan things out, which was a skill Link lacked. So... how was Link going to stop Knil if he couldn't kill him? This whole thing became more twisted at every turn.

And one last detail that confused Link... according to Ganondorf's Diary, Knil told Ganondorf he only wanted the Mirror Sea. However, when Link heard Knil and Frodnonag talking in the pub, he remembered them saying they wanted both the Mirror Sea AND the Great Sea. What's up with that? Was Knil being totally honest about his plan to Ganondorf and Frodnonag? It was something to ponder over...

Content with this new info, Link placed the Ganondorf's Diary back on the nightstand. When he did, however, a startling realization struck him - Ganondorf was no longer in his bed. Uh-oh... Where was he?! Link shone the light of his Fire Arrow around the room, but saw no sign of him. However, he could hear deep breathing from within the darkness...

"Link...!"

Link jumped and flashed his light in the direction of the voice. The light illuminated the frightful face of Ganondorf himself! He was awake, and ready to exact his revenge upon Link! Oh noes!

"Link... would you like some cookies?"

Link raised an eyebrow and looked back towards Ganondorf. The lights in the building suddenly flashed on, and there was Ganondorf standing there with a big platter of chocolate cookies. "I made them this afternoon," he exclaimed joyfully, "But there are some left over! Would you like some?"

Link just frowned in disbelief and shook his head.

"Oh, well that's fine! It's such a pleasant surprise to see your bright, youthful little face again. How are you, old friend??"

Link said he was doing OK, though a little tired.

"A little tired? Well, you can sleep in my bed if you'd like!"

Link shuddered at the thought of using Ganondorf's bed. He shook his head, claiming Ganondorf would try to murder him in his sleep.

"Oh Link, you big silly! I wouldn't do that! Now, I know we've had our past... disputes, but really. I have turned over a new leaf! I'm a good man now!"

Either Ganondorf hadn't noticed Link reading his diary, or he was doing a good job acting like it. Link decided not to bring it up. He just said he was proud that Ganondorf had seen the light.

"Indeed I have! I'm so good and helpful and it makes me happy!"

Link merely smiled and said he needed to be going.

"OK! Have a safe trip, Link. It was good to see you again!"

Link had a massive headache when he stepped out the door. Wow, Ganondorf really WAS acting nice. And even to Link! Talk about an out-of-body experience. o0

Having finished his job there, Link decided his next destination would be Outset Island. He'd been thinking a lot about Grandma and Aryll ever since hearing Knil and Frodnonag's conversation. Knil said he'd already 'taken care' of them. Link feared for their safety. He hoped Knil's evil hand hadn't hurt them, or already turned them against him...

As Link snuck through the dark town back to the King of Red Lions, he now saw all four of his admirers duking it out on the beach, half in the water. God, they all really were crazy about him, weren't they? Tetra, Medli, the Queen Fairy, Tingle... It was hard for Link to choose a love among them, and he really didn't want to break any of their hearts (well, he wouldn't choose Tingle, but his heart didn't deserve to be broken either). But really, what could be done about them? All he really could do was leave quietly and hope they could come to some sort of agreement by the time he was done saving the world...

Link was about to board his boat when he saw Ganondorf suddenly come skipping from the town square towards the girls. What the heck was he doing?

"Ladies! Ladies! Why all the fighting and shouting? Why can't we all get along?"

All four of them began to shout in response. "It's mine and Link's destiny to be together and govern the new Hyrule! He loves me!"

"Link said I'M his true love, and all these girls are just jealous!"

"Link would only be suitable with a Queen Fairy like me! I just wish these fools could understand that!"

"Kooloo-Limpah!! I want Link to be my bishie!!"

Ganondorf listened and scratched his chin. "Link, you say? Don't you mean that nice fellow over there?"

Link stopped in his tracks. All the arguing from behind suddenly went silent. Link turned around and saw Tetra, Medli, the Queen Fairy, and Tingle staring in shock. Ganondorf just stood there pointing at him, an odd grin on his face...

"LIIIIIIIIIINK!!" all four of the admirers shouted at once. They then began to give chase.

Link screamed and dove into the King of Red Lions. He then dug around for the Wind Waker, and when he found it, he conducted the Ballad of Gales just as fast as he could. Just as the Great Fairy had grabbed the edge of the boat, the cyclone began to pick up and lift the boat off the surface of the water. Link looked down and saw all four of them waving their fists in the air and shouting. They were gone from view as Link was lifted over the clouds.

His destination was Outset Island...

Once the cyclone placed Link back on the ocean, he had to lay down and take a quick breather. Another near-death experience involving the girls (and guy) that were in love with him... Man, Ganondorf SO did that on purpose! Even when he had to be nice to make an evil scheme work, he still couldn't resist the temptation to be an ass towards Link. Well, Link couldn't really blame him, but... Still, he was now starting to become very worried that Knil's plan was unfolding flawlessly. The girls had already long since hated each other, and they would soon hate Link, too. And Link's family...? That's what he was at Outset to check up on. After he made sure they were OK, he would be right off to the Mirror Sea again to stop Knil's plan before it unfolded completely...

Link made the wind blow south and sailed the short distance towards Outset. Upon landing, he noticed something strange. While it was about 3:00 am at the time, he could see the light in his house was on. Shouldn't Grandma and Aryll be asleep already? As he walked up the shore towards the house, he was even more surprised to spot Aryll standing further up the beach, staring down at him. What was she doing out there so late? She didn't appear to happy to see him either, which was strange. They hadn't seen each other in nearly two months, since he'd last left home. He imagined that she'd be thrilled to see him again. What was that fearful look on her face? And why was there a bandage around her hand...?

Thinking she was just a little out of it, Link smiled and approached her with open arms. She, however, whimpered and backed away. Link was puzzled, and frankly, a little crestfallen. He asked her what was wrong.

She didn't answer. Rubbing her bandaged hand, she broke into tears and ran back towards the house.

Link followed her, trying to tell her that everything was OK, but his following only made her run faster. She flew up the steps, opened the door to the house, ran in, and shut it. Link was left standing there, only able to guess what her problem might be.

He heard voices coming from within the house at that moment. He listened carefully...

"Grandma! Grandma!"

"Aryll?! Aryll, sweetie! What's wrong? Is your hand hurting you again?"

"Link! Grandma, it's Link! He's back! Don't let him hurt me again, Grandma!"

"Oh dear! Don't you worry, Aryll. I'll set him straight!"

A few seconds later, Grandma came bounding out of the house, and she advanced towards Link when she saw him. Link smiled and tried to tell her everything was alright. Didn't work, though. She grabbed him by the ear and practically dragged him across the sand towards the tunnel that led to the basement. She released him next to the tunnel's entrance. "Get in there, young man!"

Link forcefully asked what was wrong.

"Oh, don't ask ME! I have no idea what you've been doing the two months you've been gone, but I would never in a million years imagine you'd come back only to do something as horrible as that! What's happened to you?!"

Link asked what she meant. He also questioned Aryll's bandaged hand.

"DON'T play the fool with me, Link! You mean to tell me you don't remember shoving your sister's hand into the pot of boiling soup?!"

Holy cow, that's why Aryll's hand was all wrapped up? Just thinking about it made Link feel like crying. And what was worse, he was being blamed for it! But why?

"Do you realize how much you hurt her?! We've been up all night just trying to help ease the pain. We fear she might never be able to use that hand again! How do you feel about that?!"

Grandma's eyes then became filled with tears. "For two months, you've been gone. Two months... And during that whole time, we waited for the day that you would return to explain how the progress on your new kingdom of Hyrule was going. Even just a quick hello from you would've sufficed to make us happy... But no, you go and do something like THAT. Why, Link? Why did you DO it...?"

Link's lips quivered. He honestly did not know what to say.

Grandma just turned around and shook her head. "Just get in that basement, and don't come out until I tell you!"

Link immediately obeyed. Grandma blocked the tunnel with a few rocks, then began to head back to the house.

"And don't you EVER let me catch you wearing that thug outfit again, or I swear I will shove your HEAD into that soup!"

That was the last Link heard before hearing the house door slam from above.

Link spent what felt like hours all alone in the basement, just thinking.

The truth was obvious. Knil... He'd stopped by Outset earlier that day to burn and cripple Aryll's hand. It made him so depressed to think about it. He could picture the look of joy on both Grandma and Aryll's faces when they thought he was finally visiting home again... Later changed to a look of horror as they witnessed him do his horrible deed. Terrible. Simply terrible...

Knil's hopes were to make Grandma and Aryll learn to distrust the real Link. Sadly, Link had to admit that it had worked. How would Grandma and Aryll ever trust him now? Would they ever forgive him?

Probably not. At least not in the current millenium...

Holy hell, Link could practically feel his life falling apart inside him. For the first time, he was really beginning to feel intimidated by Knil's cunning. He'd been so confident before that he could defeat Knil at his own game, but now... Knil had really proven to be a deadly adversary. It was clear that his ability to plan and scheme was far beyond Link's. Hope was draining from him fast, and he really considered just letting himself die in the basement of his home. Really, his will to fight was all but gone now. There was nothing he could do...

"Link!"

Link perked up at the sound of Grandma's voice.

"Link, get your butt out of there!"

Oh man, was Grandma letting him go this early? Checking his watch, he found it to be about 5 am now. He'd only been locked up for two hours. Hmm, pretty light punishment, he had to admit. Maybe they now realized it wasn't really him who burned Aryll's hand? Or maybe they were just ready to forgive him? Either one would be fine. Full of hope again, Link crawled back out through the tunnel, where Grandma had already removed the rocks blocking the end. When he made it out, there stood Grandma, holding a pair of his underpants.

"I'd hate to send you out without a clean pair of underwear," she said. "Put these on."

Link was perplexed. No comment on Aryll's hand or anything like that. Just a farewell and a pair of clean underwear? Odd... Well, he expected a lot worse, so all was forgiven, it seemed. That was good...

Link happily accepted the underpants and nodded before beginning to walk back to his boat. However, Grandma stopped him.

"Put them on right here," she ordered.

Link curled his lip in confusion and asked why.

"JUST DO IT!!" she screamed.

Knowing far better than to disobey, he did what his Grandma said. He quickly changed his underwear right there on the doorstep. When he was done, Grandma just nodded, walked up to the door of the house, and opened it. Before going inside, though, she put her fingers in her mouth and let out a loud whistle. With that, she walked in and shut the door.

Hmm... What was that whistle for? And why did Link's fresh underwear feel all greasy? And... wait, just what the hell was going on? Had his family forgiven him or not?! Were they punishing him or letting him go? Link had no freakin' clue.

His answer came when he heard the stampeding of heavy feet. Link looked wide-eyed in the direction of the sound. When he was what was coming, he nearly choked.

There came running the huge, fat-ass black pig that Link so feared. Man, he was running fast! And he was drooling like Link was about to become his lunch!

In complete panic, Link screamed and began to dash like mad for the King of Red Lions. The monstrous pig was mere feet behind him, but Link was confident he could make it. His confidence was lost, though, when he saw from the beach that his boat had been roped to the dock. What?! Who had done that? Link would never get it unroped by the time the devil pig caught him! All he could do now was hope to outrun him, but the pig seemed worlds more aggresive than usual. What the hell was its problem?!

Link ran along the beach, across the bridge, along the other beach, and all the way up the mountain trail with this pig snapping at his behind the whole way. There was no way he'd be able to outrun this thing! His only option? Jump off the top of the island and hope to lose the pig that way. He couldn't guarantee it would work, but he had no other choice! Running towards the broken bridge, Link could hear the snorting of the pig behind him, catching up now more than ever. Link was so close! Just a few more yards, and (hopefully) he'd be free!

However, fate did something quite cruel at that moment. Link tripped over a clump of grass and landed hard on his stomach. He struggled to stand up quickly, but he was too slow. The titanic pig caught up with Link, and without any remorse, chomped down hard on Link's nether regions.

Link screamed and screamed, shaking around, trying to loosen the pig's hold. Oh God, the seathing _pain!! _The goddamn pig just would not give up trying to rip off Link's happy family! Link knew he couldn't break the pig's hold by just shaking. He needed to finish what he started. Pulling himself along the ground, dragging the snarling pig with him (OW!!), and fighting the tears, he finally managed to pull himself over the edge of the cliff. Both he and the pig fell the eighty feet into the ocean below. Only upon splashing in the water did the horrid pig finally release his jaws. With a sigh of relief, Link swam quickly back to the shore, leaving the pig to float in the water.

Link ran bowlegged all the way to the King of Red Lions, for his area was still in load of pain. He understood it now - while he was in the basement, Grandma had mixed his underwear into some pig bait, and after Link put it on, she whistled to call him over for breakfast. She also tied Link's boat to the dock to keep him from escaping. Man, what a punishment. And how effective... --;

Link took a minute or two to undo the ropes holding down his boat, and when he did, he stepped in and prepared to set sail once again.

Before leaving, though, he looked back at his house...

There stood Grandma and Aryll, standing on the steps, just looking at him. Looking as though telling him to leave, and to never come back...

It broke Link's heart to see them looked at him so hatefully. With watery eyes, Link hesitantly waved good-bye to them.

They didn't wave back.

Link knew now more than ever that they would never trust him ever again...

With that, there was nothing more for him to do than to hoist his sail and make way for the Mirror Sea once more...

As Link sailed over the Great Sea's borders, his face grew from sorrowful to vengeful. So Knil had succeeded in making Link's life miserable. There was no denying that. But had he really...?

While Link had sure felt hopeless for that short while, that hopelessness was quickly being replaced by rage. It was an unspeakable rage that he had never felt before - it was something not even Ganondorf himself had witnessed.

It didn't take much thinking on Link's part to figure it out...

Knil had succeeded in making Link miserable, but only to a certain extent. If he'd just played it a little cooler, he might've been able to keep Link right where he wanted him. But no... Burning and crippling Aryll's hand? Forcing his Grandma to have a giant pig chew on his balls? Knil had just gone too far now.

Link was no longer sad and depressed...

He was now officially pissed off.

And more determined than ever to put a stop to Knil's plans.

With that rage and determination burning within him, Link's brain was now beginning to operate at full capacity. He only had about one hour left that he could spend within the Mirror Sea, and he knew it, but he could feel a plan coming on. A perfect plan to make perfect use of that one hour...

And, as Link rode the oceanfall leading back to the Mirror Sea, he already knew where his first stop would be...

Once he was back in the Mirror Sea and all its ugliness, Link took out his Sea Chart and mapped a course for the Mirror version of Tingle Island. Why Tingle Island, you ask? Well, Link just so happened to remember a little bit of the conversation between Knil and Frodnonag that got his curiosity going:

_"Yup! While you were fishing for the Bashter Sword, I went to send the chart to Mangle. He's deciphering it as we speak. It should be all done soon, and when it is, the Trischwartz'll practically be ours..."_

Judging from this, Link's best guess was that Knil had recovered a chart leading to the Trischwartz, and had sent it to 'Mangle' to be deciphered. And who else could Mangle be but Tingle's Mirror Clone? After all, who did Link turn to when he needed the Triforce Charts deciphered? Tingle! It made perfect sense! Man, isn't it a great feeling when everything just... makes sense? Yup, sure is.

After several minutes of sailing north, Link at last docked the King of Red Lions near Mirror Tingle Island (or should it be Mangle Island...?). On the island was a tower that looked familiar, except that the faces carved in it resembled various bosses that also looked familiar. Link's plan was to approach Mangle while posing as Knil. He would ask about the chart, pay whatever money he needed to get it, and then search for the Trischwartz himself. If he could get his hands on it, that would ensure Knil's dark ambitions would never be fulfilled. Cool. Link just hoped he wasn't too late... Had the chart already been deciphered? Had Knil already recieved it? Was he already out searching for the Trischwartz at that moment? Looks like Link was gonna find out!

Link climbed the ladder leading to the top of the tower, and there he saw who must've been Mangle. He looked a lot like Tingle (of course), but he instead wore a black leather jacket with a black hood. He also wore dark shades, much like Knil, and the look on his face was that of a pothead. In fact, he was holding a joint as he examined the chart in his hand. When he saw Link, he got a look like he recognized him.

"Oh, it's you... Your clothes are different..."

Link nodded and asked how the chart was coming along.

"Finished it about a half-hour ago. I was looking over it to make sure it was all good. Looks like it is..." He took a puff of his joint before continuing. "I was just about to call you to tell you to come pick it up. You made good timing."

Link thanked him, and asked what the price would be. Mangle just raised an eyebrow.

"Whaddya mean, shrimp? You already paid yesterday. But, ya know, if you wanna pay again, that's cool. Heheh!"

Link shook his head. Mangle moaned.

"Well, alright. Whatever. Got more than enough money for some more weed, anyways... Right, well just fill out the form and I'll give you the chart."

Wait, the form? What form? Link asked what it was.

"What, you don't remember? When you first came here with your chart, I had you fill out a form with your personal information on it. I told you that when you came to pick it up, you'd fill out another identical form. Then I'd compare 'em to make sure they were the same, and that way, I'd know it was you. Just my way of making sure I don't mix up my customers' orders..."

Uh-oh, that wasn't good. Turns out there was a security system to get by. But Link really needed that chart...

Before he could think anymore about it, Mangle shoved the form into one of Link's hands, and a pen in the other. "Hurry up and fill it out. I'm a busy man..." With that, he sat down and resumed smoking his joint.

So, Link just had to fill this form out correctly to get the chart leading to the Trischwartz. How could he go about doing this? How could he know what Knil would put down as his personal information? He was Link's Mirror Clone; his complete opposite in every way...

Wait, that was it! Knil was the opposite of Link in every way. That meant all Link had to do was answer each question the opposite of what he normally would. Genius!

Link clicked the pen and began to write:

--

1. First name?

_Knil_

2. Last name?

_Don't got one_

3. Home Island?

_Upset Island_

4. How much does your head weigh?

_A lot_

5. What is your opinion on the Grand Theft Auto series?

_It kicks ass_

6. And the Legend of Zelda series?

_Taht sereis iz for teh kiddiez!_

7. Are you a virgin?

_No_

8. Is the above answer honest?

_Yes_

9. Is the above answer honest?

_YES!_

10. Your favorite two-word phrase?

_Fuck you_

11. Have you ever ridden an elephant while balancing a pie on your nose on the 23rd of July?

_Yes, and I enjoyed it very much_

12. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

_I'd slaughter the damn woodchuck before he chucked any wood_

**- Sign below if all the above answers above are answered honestly (especially questions 5 and 6. And 7, 8, and 9).**

X_ Knil_

--

After filling out the form, Link handed it down to Mangle. Mangle then took out another form, presumably the one Knil had filled out the day before, and looked them both over. Link crossed his fingers and hoped for the best...

Finally, after a few minutes, Mangle nodded in approval. He held up the chart, which Link accepted. He then held it high over his head.

**Da Da Da DAH!! You got the Trischwartz Chart! Use it to find the fabled Trischwartz in the Mirror Sea! w00t!**

Putting the chart into his pocket, Link gave Mangle a hearty thanks. Mangle just chuckled. "Hehe... yeah. May as well tell ya right now that I ripped ya off. That chart says it leads to the Trischwartz, but everybody knows it's called the 'Triumph Shorts', and it don't even exist. Freakin' idiot." He laughed again and took another puff of his joint, which made him cough and gag.

Link just laughed right back at him and lowered himself down the ladder. He then hopped back into his boat, where he took out the Trischartz Chart and opened it up to see just where the actual Trischwartz was hidden...

After taking a minute to compare the landmass on the Trischwartz Chart to the ones on his Sea Chart, he found it to be located very near the Mirror version of Mother and Child Isles, which, on the Trischwartz Chart, was labeled as Pedophile and Child Isles --;.

At that moment, a wave of hope flowed over Link. With this, the Trischwartz was now practically his! And once it was, he could make sure Knil never got it! And on top of that, he might even get a wish granted. Oooh! C:

Without a second thought, Link began to sail northwest towards Pedophile and Child Isles. The moment of truth was at hand...!

As Link neared his destination, he checked the Trischwartz Chart carefully to make sure he sailed to just the right spot. It was marked by a brown X, just a couple yards to the left of the Child Isle. Link had to plan his moves carefully, but he eventually found a spot that he felt confident that he was the correct spot. He took out his Salvage Crane and lowered it into the purple ocean. It sank deeper, and deeper, and deeper, until...

Yes! It hooked something! Link eagerly rose the crane to see that his prize was... a copy of the _Payback_ DVD?! Wack. Link dumped it back in the ocean and moved the boat forward a few inches before dunking the crane once more. Hopefully this would be the big one...

Oh, this one had snagged something too! Link rose the crane to find that it was...

A treasure chest! Woohoo! Could its contents really be what Link hoped to find?

He pulled the chest into the boat and lifted the lid. A dark, musty cloud extruded from within. Once the cloud had vanished, something began to rise out. Link held his breath in amazement as the object slowly ascended until it was right over his head...

It then suddenly exploded into a much larger and more defined shape, and proceeded to lower itself down in front of Link.

He knew right away...

It was none other than the almighty Trischwartz! YAYZ!!

The Trishcwartz wasn't a very flattering relic. It was basically an upside-down Triforce made of dusty, rusty metal. He still knew that, even though it didn't look very flattering, it still contained power equal to that of the Triforce. How cool that it was right there in front of him!

But... what should he do with it? He wanted to keep it from Knil, of course, but perhaps the easiest way to do that was to make the Trischwartz his own... Yeah! If the Trischwartz was anything like the Triforce, than it would only obey the first person who touched it. Link wanted to make sure that person was him, and not Knil.

Yes... He would touch the Trischwartz and make it his own. It's what he had to do...

Taking in a deep breath, Link closed his eyes, and reached out for the relic. He felt his hand touch its rough surface...

A second later, a strange power erupted from the Trischwartz. Link opened his eyes, and saw something odd.

The Trischwartz... it was splitting into three! The three triangles that assembled it were beginning to break apart from one another! What the heck?! Link's confusion piqued when one of the upper pieces shrank down and embedded its image onto the back of Link's hand. The other two suddenly shot up into the air, and flew as a pair far beyond the horizon until Link couldn't see them anymore.

Link looked at the back of his hand. Sure enough, there was the Trischwartz mark, but with only the upper right triangle highlighted, the other two blank. What had just happened...? While he sat their wondering, he spotted something in the treasure chest he hadn't noticed before. It looked like a dusty old scroll. He quickly reached in and pulled it out, then rolled it open to read its words:

--

_Yo, wassup? If you're reading this, it means you found the Trischwartz. _

_Nice goin', now you got the power of the anti-gods. Of course, you only _

_get the true power if the three forces of the Trischwartz are balanced in your heart. _

_The forces of pure Sour, Crimson (like blood or somethin), and Splurge... _

_If your cold, black heart is filled with these things, then you can use the Trischwartz _

_however you damn well please. Get your wishes for money, fame, power, and all that _

_good stuff granted. _

_If your heart ain't balanced, though, the three pieces of the Trischwartz will seperate. _

_You only get to keep one - the piece representing the force that your stupid, _

_unbalanced heart most believes in. The other two parts will go to two others who _

_most believe in the forces that THOSE parts represent. Got that? _

_That means if you want the whole Trischwartz, you gotta find those two and _

_kill 'em or whatever to get their pieces from them. _

_How can you do that? _

_That's your problem, dipshit. Not mine. _

_Good luck or whatever. You'll need it._

_--_

...Well damn. Looks like the Trischwartz really WAS similar to the Triforce. Since Link's heart didn't balance the forces of Sour, Crimson, and Splurge, the Trischwartz broke when he touched it. He only got to keep one part. But which one? According to the labeled picture that was drawn on the scroll, he got the Trischwartz of Splurge. Umm... OK, guess he believed in Splurge more than Sour or Crimson.

So then the big question was, where did the other two pieces go to? Which two others in the Mirror Sea might have inherited them? Hmm...

Well, Link noticed the two pieces had flown off as a pair, so maybe they were given to two people that always travelled as a pair? But who...?

Link was so bummed out from his misfortune that he simply sat there in his boat and sulked for several minutes. Just when things couldn't have been going any better... He thought for sure the whole Trischwartz was safe in his hands. And now it was scattered...

Link decided maybe he could use the power of the Trischwartz of Splurge to find out. Hey, it could work. Those who were bounded by the Triforce had a sort of psychic bond with one another. Maybe the Trischwartz was the same? It was worth a try.

Link stared at the mark on the back of his hand and concentrated hard. Over and over in his head, he repeatedly ordered the Trischwartz piece to locate the bearers of the other two pieces. Strangely enough, the more he concentrated, the more he felt like the people he was trying to locate were also trying to locate him...

Then, at last, the mark on his hand flashed a murky brown color, and an image flashed in Link's mind. He shuddered at the sight...

He saw Knil and Frodnonag, zooming along the purple waves in Knil's motorboat. Link could make out the Trischwartz marks on the backs of both their hands, Knil with the one of Sour, and Frodnonag with the one of Crimson. Even behind Knil's sunglasses, Link could see bloodthirst and anger in his eyes. He clearly knew now that someone else had found the Trischwartz before him, and was pretty pissed about it. He and Frodnonag knew they were extremely lucky to have gotten two pieces already, and they also seemed to understand that all they needed to do was kill the one who held the third piece.

Did they know it was Link? Did they know where he was...?

Link increased his concentration, and found he was actually able to hear their conversation. He listened intently...

_"Knil, are you sure you know where we're going?"_

_"Yes, Frodnonag! Just shut up!"_

_"How do you know who found the Trischwartz? How do you know he has the third piece?"_

_"Who the hell else COULD it be?! It was my Great Clone, dammit! I know it was! He's got the Trischwartz of Splurge, and I'm gonna have it no matter what!!"_

_"Really? Your Great Clone? But I thought you made his life miserable!"_

_"I thought I did, but evidently not. Once we catch him, though, he'll know what misery REALLY is!!"_

_"Oh, awesome!"_

_"Damn right! Now, my Trischwartz of Sour is telling me that he's near the Pedophile and Child Isles. God, I swear, when I get my hands on that guy...!!"_

That's all Link heard before the image slowly faded away...

Right then and there, Link knew he was in deep shit. Both Knil and Frodnonag were after him, and they each had a Trischwartz piece, plus the Master Sword AND the Basther Sword at their disposal. Link was no match for both of them! He couldn't fight. No way. He just couldn't. If he failed to keep his piece of the Trischwartz safe, the world would be theirs for sure. But what else could Link do...?

Then, suddenly, like magic, Link's head began to formulate an idea...

A pretty good idea, in fact.

Hell... it was just the kind of idea crazy enough to work!

It was a very, VERY risky idea. But hey, taking risks was what he was meant to do as the Hero of Winds, wasn't it?

He WAS the Hero of Winds, wasn't he?!

Link's chest swelled with anxiety and confidence once again. He was scared to death, but he had a good idea to back him up. As always, he could only pray and pray that it would work. With one last deep breath, Link hoisted his sail and began to head north towards the Mirror Sea's northern border, towards the oceanfall that led back to the Great Sea...

Link waited at the edge of the oceanfall for a long time. The restless roaring of the falls reflected the emotions of fear and apprehension in his heart. He thought of his family, and his four admirers, to counter these feelings and hold his ground.

Through his waiting, though, Link began to feel intense pressure in his chest, and found it increasingly difficult to breathe over time. His final hour was almost up, and the toxins of the Mirror Sea were beginning to take their toll. He would be dead in a matter of minutes... Despite this, Link stayed put.

He continued to wait, to wait for them to arrive...

Just as Link was about to give up and sail off the falls, he finally saw the outline of Knil and Frodnonag zooming towards in him their motorboat. Link fought the pain and straightened up. Several seconds later, Knil's motorboat stopped right behind Link's King of Red Lions.

And for the first time, Link and Knil gazed upon each other in recognition.

"My Great Clone..." Knil said threateningly. "Link, is it?"

Link nodded.

"You're the pisshead that stole my chart and found the Trischwartz, aren't you?"

Link nodded again. He flashed the back of his hand to Knil's face. Knil looked up at it lustfully, then flashed the back of his own hand. Two of the three Trischwartz marks were highlighted. Looks like Frodnonag had already given his up to Knil, leaving Knil with just the one more to get...

"So, how long have you known my plan?" Knil wondered.

Link explained that he first began following Knil's plot since the moment he beat up his grandma for the family shield. Knil and Frodnonag both appeared surprised by this.

"That long?!" Frodnonag gasped.

Knil nudged him, shutting him up, and continued himself. "So I guess that means you know our whole plan, then, right?"

Link nodded once again, saying he even knew Ganondorf's role.

Knil, however, was unimpressed. "So, looks like you were too much of a goody two-shoes to actually use the Trischwartz, huh? Man, what a bummer... And I bet you thought you had it made, didn't you? Thought it would be safe from me as long as you had it, didn't you? Pssh, what an idiot. I'm ashamed to have such an intricate connection with you!"

Link was about to make a comeback, but he noticed something. Knil no longer held the Master Sword in his sheath, but rather, the Bashter Sword. In fact, they didn't have the Master Sword at all! Link questioned this.

"Oh, the Master Sword? Right, right..." Knil chuckled. "I thought about just holding onto it to keep you from getting it, but I later figured that it would suffice to just dump it into the Mirror Sea. It's gone, Link. Lost at the bottom of this ocean. And to be honest, I'm not even sure I remember where I dumped it! Ha!"

"I remember!" Frodnonag blurted. Knil socked him in the stomach to shut him up again.

Link then had another question. He asked what Knil really planned to do with the Bashter Sword.

Knil drew the blade and spoke, "Well, seeing as I'm about to gain control of the Trischwartz and fulfill my ambitions anyway, I can you. But Frodnonag, YOU have to cover your ears."

"What? But why Knil? I already know what you want to do with the Bashter Swor-"

"COVER YOUR FREAKIN' EARS, YOU ASSHAT!!"

Frodnonag hesitated, but at last turned away and put his hands over his ears. Knil turned back to Link and began.

"OK, I know why you asked that. You think I'm decieving Ganondorf, don't you? That I'm not really gonna give him the Bashter Sword?"

Link nodded.

"Well, you're right on one account. I am decieving Ganondorf, but I most certainly am gonna give the sword to him. You see, as you might know, if a person spends a total of six hours in the opposite sea of their nature, they die. My wish is to use the Trischwartz to rule both the Mirror Sea and the Great Sea. Problem is, I've only got about half an hour left to spend in the Great Sea before I'm a goner. I can't go ruling a sea that I can't survive in..."

Link interrupted, asking why Knil couldn't just use the power of the Trischwartz to protect himself from the Great Sea's atmosphere.

"I already thought of that, ya ham statue! But you see, I can't do that. It's one wish that neither the Trischwartz, nor the Triforce could grant. Why not? I have no idea. It's just the rules of the game. Anyhoo, when I finally get the Trischwartz, I'm gonna give the Bashter Sword to Ganondorf, and then... I'm gonna use the power of the Trischwartz to hold Frodnonag hostage! Ya know why? Cuz, as you also might already know, if a person dies, his respective clone of the opposite sea dies, too. So by holding his Mirror Clone hostage, Ganondorf will be forced to rule over the Great Sea using the Bashter Sword only the way I instruct him to over the phone! See? He'll totally be at MY mercy! That way, while I'm ruling the Mirror Sea, I'm indirectly using Ganondorf to rule the Great Sea, too! Oh man, is that genius or WHAT?!"

Link's eyes were wide open after hearing that. He had to admit, it was a pretty well thought-out plan on Knil's part.

"Alright, you heard what you wanted to hear. But hey, you'd better not tell this to Frodnonag, ya hear?"

Link gave Knil his word that he wouldn't tell.

"Very nice... Ya know, it's a good thing I'm as dishonest as they came. Now I know I can trust you to keep any promise you make! Hehe!"

Knil then turned back to Frodnonag and urged him to uncover his ears. "You didn't hear none of that, did you?"

"Umm, I think I heard my name once or twice..."

"No you didn't. Stop imagining shit!"

Link had one final question to ask... Why? Why did Knil wish to control both seas so badly?

Knil laughed and shook his head. "Well, ya penis wrinkle, aside from the obvious power benefit, there is one other thing. Something that's really been pissing me off my whole life..."

He then leaned in closer. "...Why is it that the Greatlings have all the power, huh? Can you explain it to me? Can you explain why the behavior of the Mirrorlings is completely dependant on the behavior of their Great Clones? HUH?!"

Link didn't understand what Knil was saying. Knil rolled his eyes.

"Oh, c'mon Link! Just look at Frodnonag here... He used to be as nice as Mr Rogers. The only reason he's acting evil now is because Ganondorf's down there in the Great Sea acting all nice. You understand THAT, right? But you see, my point is, Frodnonag could never voluntarily act one way to make Ganondorf act another way. HE could never start acting evil to make Ganondorf good. Ya know why? Cuz he's a Mirrorling, whose behavior can only be changed by his Great Clone. Why can't it work the other way around? Why can't Mirrorlings have the power to influence the Greatlings!? It's not fair! Believe me, when I gain the Trischwartz, my first goal will be to change that for good!"

When Knil was finished explaining his motives, Link only shook his head. He assured Knil that his views were all wrong. You see, the only reason Ganondorf was acting good is because it meant he would ultimately get something he wanted to satisfy his evil ambitions. Link believed that Frodnonag had the same power to change Ganondorf's behavior, but that he just couldn't. Not because of the laws of chaos, but because deep down, Frodnonag really was a good man. And Link knew better than anybody that a genuinely good person would never act evil just to get something they wanted. That was a weakness that only evil people had. It was just the way of the world...

Knil just sneered at Link's reasoning. "Don't you be telling ME about the way of the world. I'm about to CHANGE the fucking way of the world!"

Link was about to respond, but he suddenly coughed. His lungs felt like they were about to burst. His time was almost up, but he still didn't move.

Knil just laughed. "Oh-hoho! I get what you're doing! You're gonna let yourself die here, cuz you know that means I'll die too, ain't that right? You gonna sacrifice yourself to save the world from me, aren't you? Pssh, bullshit! You don't have it in you!"

Frodnonag chimed in. "Yeah Link! Even if you and Knil die, that means I can have the Trischwartz, and I could use it to fulfill Knil's dreams for him! Haha!"

Neither Link nor Knil liked the sound of that.

"So..." Knil said to Link, "You ready to go off those falls and make me chase you yet? You know it'll happen eventually. I still got about a half-hour left in the Great Sea, so you _just_ might be able to get away..."

Link's face grew tense with determination. He stared past Knil's shades and deep into his eyes...

He then let out a battle cry, and hoisted his sail. The wind carried Link forward and right over the oceanfall!

Knil laughed out loud. "HAHA!! I knew it! I knew you would do that! You're just prolonging the inevitable, ya moron! Here I come!!"

"Yeah! Here I come!!"

"Shut up, Frodnonoag! You're voice is killin' my brain cells!!"

The two rivals had ridden the oceanfall back to the Great Sea, and were sailing across its waves side by side, locked in combat. While Frodnonag controlled the motor's speed to stay right next to the King of Red Lions, Link and Knil clashed their swords between their boats. Link was doubtful he could win, since Knil's Bashter Sword threatened to shred Link's wooden Hero's Sword in half every time they clashed. Link did have one advantage, though - he had a Mirror Shield he could use to block, while Knil was stuck with his dinky shield he beat up his Grandma for. Ha!

As the two battled it out over the high seas, they didn't realize they were headed striaight for Windfall Island, and would crash up on its shores in minutes. Things were about to get interesting...!

Ganondorf was busy handing out candy to the children of Windfall when he heard a cry from one of the sailors. "Oy!" he called out, "Looky here at these two! They're headed this way, and they're dukin' it out!"

Many citizens gathered around to watch, including Ganondorf. He was amazed to see Link and Knil clashing swords across their speeding boats. Talk about a hell of a climactic battle! Actually, he was even more surprised to see another man that looked just like him in the same boat as Knil, operating the motor. Could that be his Mirror Clone that he'd heard about? Frodnonag? Whoa! What the heck were these three doing here?! What was happening?!

"Hey Ganon! Ganon! Can I please have some more candy?"

"I want some too! Pleeeease?!"

Ganondorf looked back down at the group of kids next to him and feigned a smile. "Sure girls, take it all! I gotta go do something." He dropped the bowl of candy at the kids' feet and ran closer to the shore that Link and Knil were bound to crash against any second.

"You know what girls, when Link finally decides to come back, let's all force him to tell us which one of us he loves!"

"Yeah, that's the only fair way! I mean, why else would he run off like that? Cuz he's too scared to admit the truth!"

"Indeed, ladies. We shouldn't be beating up each other. It's LINK that's got explaining to do!"

"KOOLOO-LIMPAH!! Yeah, we need to hear it from Link himself which one of us his heart belongs to! Oh, I hope it's me!"

"You wish, you little fairy wannab-! Hey! What's that over there?"

"Looks like two guys fighting on two boats, heading this way..."

"Who could they be, I wonder?"

"ZOMG!! It's Link! And... and some other guy that looks like him! Their in mortal combat!"

"Oh no, you're right! LINK! I'm coming!!"

"I'm coming too!!"

"Come, let us help him!"

"Yeah... and THEN we ask him who he really loves! Woo!!"

Link and Knil tirelessly fought, not even realizing they were getting close to shore.

"Land ho!" Frodnonag shouted.

"Land _what_?!" Knil asked.

"I said land h- OOOF!!"

Both boats were suddenly run aground and halted. Link, Knil, and Frodnonoag all flew forward and landed hard on the sand. Link tried to recover quickly, but unfortunately, Knil was quicker. He jumped over and pinned Link to the ground, holding the Bashter Sword to his throat. The surrounding crowd gasped. Even Ganondorf. He had no clue what was going on! Link's four admirers gasped, too. Who was the guy in black that looked like Link, and why was he hurting the _real_ Link?

"You know I ain't stupid enough to kill you..." Knil whispered in Link's ear. "But you know your four lovers are still here on this island. In fact, they're right there in the crowd. If I can't threaten YOUR life, I'll threaten theirs... Now, give me the Trischwartz of Splurge, or you can say good-bye to all those who love you... Oh, and not only your lovers, but your family too...!"

Link seemed to be thinking hard about what he should do. The entire crowd awaited his choice, even though they didn't understand it.

Ganondorf and Frodnonag waited, too. A long time...

Until finally, Link made his decision.

He lowered his head in defeat, and held his left hand up, exposing the mark of the Trischwartz of Splurge.

Knil grinned a most evil of grins. He took the Bashter Sword away from Link's throat, then grabbed Link's wrist. He held both his and Link's left hand high in the air. In a light show of ugly colors, the Trischwartz of Splurge rose from Link's hand, as did the Twischartzes of Sour and Crimson from Knil's. The three combined together to form the complete Trischwartz of legend.

The evil relic lowered itself down in front of a very satisfied-looking Knil. He could hardly control his evil laughter. He dropped the Bashter Sword on the beach and approached the Trischwartz with arms outstretched.

The surrounding crowd stared in horror. They knew something terrible was about to happen...

But no one knew this better than Link. Still lying in the sand, he closed his eyes in shame.

This was the end of the world he and everyone else knew...

And the beginning of the world that Knil hoped for...

The sun was just now beginning to rise beyond the horizon.

By daybreak, the world would belong to Knil...

_"Anti-gods of the Trischwartz! Hear that which I desire!! POWER!! I crave for more power than even I could imagine...!" _

Link finally found the strength to stand up. He knew now that he needed to do something, and fast. He needed to act before Knil could finish stating the conditions of his wish! C'mon, he had to think! THINK! What could he possibly do to stop Knil, or to sway his mind another way...?

_"...Give the Mirror Sea, and all it's spoils, to ME...!!"_

It suddenly hit him. A flash of inspiration. Yes! Swaying Knil's mind another way! That's what he had to do! But how? He needed to find some way... SOME way...!

_"...And give the power of manipulation to the Mirrorlings! May the hearts of the Greatlings forever be at the mercy of their Mirror Clones!! Anti-gods of the Trischwartz, let my wishes be fulfilled!!"_

At that moment, Link did the unexpected. He snatched a cigarette from a nearby sailor and began to smoke it. He then kicked one of the Killer Bee members in the head, and began to shout all kinds of swear words and insults as fast as he could. His vulgar behavior had the whole crowd appalled!

And, while Knil was reaching out for the Trischwartz to have his wishes granted, a strange smile spread across his face. A smile of true righteousness...

_"...Anti-Gods of the Trischwartz... Hear... hear that which I desire... I... I... I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID AND I WISH FOR PEACE AND PROSPERTY FOR ALL!! AND SAVE THE WHALES!!"_

The crowd gasped as Knil reached for the Trischwartz to have his new, happy wish fulfilled. Link smiled, for his plan had worked!

Frodnonag, however, screamed in horror. "NO!! Knil, you can't do that!! NOOO!!" He ran over as fast as he could and shoved Knil to the ground before he touched the Trischwartz himself. "Don't worry Knil! I know what Link's trying to do, and I won't let him! I'll fulfill your TRUE desires for you!!"

With that, Frodnonag raised his arms and began to repeat Knil's original wishes.

_"Anti-gods of the Trischwartz! Hear that which I desire!! POWER!! Give Knil more power than even he could imagine...!" _

Aw, NO! Not again! And this time, Link couldn't change himself to change the enemy!

And yet, there was still Ganondorf...

YES! Ganondorf! He was the world's last hope!

Seeing the Bashter Sword on the ground next to him, Link wasted no time. He snatched it up and ran right up to Ganondorf, who was still acting all nice. Link handed the sword to him.

"What?! What is this, Link?" Ganondorf asked as he took the sword. "A present? For me? Why are you giving this during such a wonderful - I mean, terrible - event?!"

Link explained that it was the Bashter Sword. When Ganondorf heard this, his eyes grew dark.

"The... Bashter Sword? The Blade of Good Guys' Bane? THE Bashter Sword?" He then smiled wickedly. "Hehe... YES!! I finally have it! It's mine!!

And right when Ganondorf said that, Link up and kicked him straight in the balls!

Ganondorf groaned in pain, and his eyes suddenly filled with fiery rage. "God DAMN YOU, LINK!! I've been waiting SO long to do this to you!!"

He pushed Link to the ground and pinned him down with his foot. Link struggled to get away, but he couldn't move. He could see the hatred in Ganondorf's eyes as he raised the Bashter Sword high over his head, ready to impale it into Link's skull...

Yes, Link could see the raw evil behind Ganondorf's eyes...

Raw evil!

_"Anti-gods of the Trischwartz, let my wishes be fulfil-! Umm... Wait, no! I don't want any of that! I am Frodnonag! The nicest man in this or any sea! I don't wish anything for this evil child Knil. I just wish the whole world was happy again! HAPPINESS TO ALL!!"_

And with that, Frodnonag reached out and touched the Trishcwartz, which began to glow in response to his wish...

It was being granted!

The crowd went wild with cheers. Knil, who was still on the floor, reached out with his hand in futility."NOOO!!" he screamed. "NOOOO!! This can't be happening to me!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!..."

...A bright ray of light spread across the world...

and it was soon reverted back to its original state.

Ganondorf was once again sealed by the Master Sword beneath the Great Sea...

Knil and Frodnonag were sent back to the Mirror Sea where they rightfully belonged...

And Link?

The next thing he knew, he was on Outset Island's beach once again.

And who should be there to greet him but Grandma and Aryll!

"Link!" Grandma exclaimed, rushing up to give him a hug. "Oh, it's been so long! How have you been!"

Link smiled widely, saying he'd never felt better.

"Hi Big Brother!" Aryll said happily. "I'm happy to see you're still OK after being gone so long!"

Link was glad to see her, too, and even gladder to see that her hand was neither burned nor bandaged. Wow, looks like Frodnonag's wish really had sent the world back to a happier time, huh? Even if it was just a span of a few hours. :P

"So Link, you getting ready to start building that kingdom of Hyrule of yours with your girl, Tetra?" Grandma asked.

Link then suddenly remembered - his admirers! They didn't all still hate them, did they...? Well, no... Frodnonag's wish had sent the world back before Knil had sent the letters out to those four, of that he was sure. Therefore, Link didn't worry too much about that. However, it WAS something he was going to have to deal with in the future. After all, Tetra, Medli, the Queen Fairy, and Tingle... ALL in love with him? That would definitely mean problems down the road, no matter what!

But hey, that was a problem for the future. Right then, he just wanted to enjoy the present! C:

For the first time since 8 pm the previous night, Link finally got to rest. He walked up the trail to the highest point of Outset Island, and simply lay in the grass while watching the sun rise. It was kind of funny to him, actually... He'd saved the world again, and this time, it was all in the span of a single night! Ha!

However, there was one thing that still troubled him. While Frodnonag's wish had sent the world back to a state before the events of last night happened, Link could still feel the toxins of the Mirror Sea flowing around in his lungs. They didn't hurt, of course, but he still knew they were there. He remembered how close he'd come to letting the air of the Mirror Sea suffocate him... Hell, he probably went over those falls right at his last second of life. Scary...

Link looked across the southern border of the Great Sea. He imagined being able to see the point where the ocean careened off the edge of the earth and fell to the Mirror Sea. There was a time not long ago when he'd longed to know what was beyond the ocean he knew, and you know what? He knew now. Oh yeah, he _definitely_ knew now! The funny thing is, he also understood that he would never be able to go back ever again. The poisin in his body... it would remain for life, and one more breath of that Mirror Sea air only meant death for him. For some reason, that made Link feel a bit sad, knowing there was a whole nother world down there he would never have a chance to explore anymore, even if it was ugly and full of assholes.

Link's thoughts then went to Knil. Knil had been in a similar situation as Link - his time in the Great Sea had almost been up, right? That last bit of time spent on Windfall Island probably marked his last visit to the Great Sea. Even a short visit would probably prove fatal to him...

So, that must mean that Link and Knil would never meet again for as long as either of them lived...

And to be honest, Link was just fine with that. C:

Link continued to lay on the cool grass of his home island, watching the sun illuminate the sky of this new day. He was happy about the past, and hopeful for the future. Right then, though, he was just glad the present was a pleasant time. Isn't it always nice when the _present _is a happy time? Yeah, no doubt about that...!

After all, who knows when the hour of darkness will arise again, and the the world will once again call for the aid of the Hero of Winds?

Only goodness knows...

_**/\THE END/\**_


End file.
